This tweet reminded me of an profoundly nonsensical incident that sent me into a tail spin a couple of months ago:
This is why I only know real men. Those that seek out the truth and aren't afraid to learn, grow and face tough issues. Yaaaaaaaasssss! https://t.co/bvPlYUR3eI— Ngosa Whoopi Chungu (@whoops_c) October 1, 2016
So in August I started using the male version of my antiperspirant. Not by choice, but because my body is very finicky and this particular brand is the only one it doesn't react to. Problem is I'm also extremely sensitive to smell. When I put it on I had the most visceral and adverse reaction to it. The smell clobbered my senses and sent me into a man-hating stupor. Seriously! My sister found it hilarious, but at the time it was traumatic. I can only laugh at myself in retrospect. The smell is that typical alpha male scent that deodorants tend to have. That puerile odor that is supposed to capture the quintessentially male essence. The one teenagers spray all over their bodies like in that famous brand, that rhymes with fax and was formally known by the name of a type of cat, ads. I felt physically, emotionally and mentally assaulted. It was nuts! Yes my deodorant had me in conniptions and discombobulated smh...
Eventually the horrendous ordeal made me think about why I had had such a strong and unpleasant reaction to it. At this point the Zambian election was imminent. I was on a social media detox because I just couldn't take all the crazy - mostly discourse informed and led by initiatives, speeches and comments of male origin, conjured up to maintain power and oppress in every way, shape and form. I realised I am done with entertaining that in the slightest. I do not need that in my life, let alone emanating from my armpit! The scent was a trigger to direct me to something much larger. Paradoxically the oppression led to my salvation and enfranchisement.
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| I choose me! For more visual empowerment follow me on Instagram. I have been creating a serious of mini projects using images to grow, inspire and work through things. |
After realising that it was the deodorant but wasn't really about deodorant, I got to thinking about how I could change how I viewed the situation. Instead of man-bashing, I should continue to empower myself and find a new way of dealing with such assaults for my health. My new project A.C.E. is all about that so instead of just working it, I needed to keep living it too. I cannot be baited into a less productive way of dealing with the current gender situation in my country and the world. For my project to be honest I need to continually and actively do things in my own life to empower myself, and to not let patriarchy and the asinine acts of men affect me so. I cannot allow myself to be sucked into hate because of my environment. Love must prevail! I must keep the peace and maintain well-being in my life too.
I had already started with things like this:
And plan to continue, as I did after I recovered from this trippy incident, with things like this:
I. JUST. CAN'T. ANYMORE! Life is too short to let other people's issues throw you off so. So I choose me. I choose my sanity. I choose self care. I choose to fight. I choose to have my frustration ignite a new passion for change. And together we will win. There is space enough for us to all to be, and do, with respect to one another. That tweet reminded me that even though the bloviated rhetoric of lesser men tends to be amplified, there are lots of beautiful men out there, and in my life, who prove that there is a way to equality, equity and equanimity without oppression.
To all the real men out there I salute you, and to all the women out there fighting for our right to be, I'm with you sisters xo! I forgive my deodorant, it's not its fault it smells like an idiot. If you want to talk more about this or anything else, tweet me!
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