I have two main moods. Of course I have found a punny and profoundly nonsensical way to express them:
Taken at KC Vaghela Brand Store Launch this year by Vince Banda This is clearly Ngansta lol |
NG-ma (n) - play on Ngosa and grandmother (g-ma)
1. introverted, stay at home in the comfort of sweats, hoodie, and fluffy slippers mode;
2. motherl , loyal and caring side of me;
3. inner voice that stops me from being too crazy, makes sure I take care of myself.
NGangsta (n) - play on Ngosa and gangster (gansta/ G)
1. vivavious, up for anything, spontaneous, open, crazy, outgoing side of me;
2. boldy express myself through my appearance. Don't for anyone else though, but if you enjoy my look hey...
3. leads me into trouble sometimes, forgets to check in and make sure I'm not overworking coz this is the side that fuels the hustler, the boss: the Ndhlovukhazi Storyteller and gets me out and about .
My professional life brought out the curmudgeonly side of NG-ma for most of the year.
Connect with me on SnapChat @whoops.c |
At the last minute have bailed on things, or just have flat out hidden away for months at a time in order to recharge and reemerge better, stronger and Ngangsta lol. These past few months I have been able to actually been the kind of present and supportive friend, Ndhlovukhazi Storyteller, and member of my community that I have been wanting to evolve into for the past couple of years.
Also, just about finding the sweet spot to the balance between NG-ma and Ngansta: the ying and yang, the right ratio of indivudual and simultaneous expressions of these extremes in my personality as that is what fuels my creativity. My writing, in particular, suffers acutely when things are out of wack. My family also suffers as my cooking tends to taste like poison and not love when I'm not regulated. Repatriating has been really hard on me these last 5 years. The opportunity cost of not living in the West has had a huge effect on my support systems, my engagement with the world, how I process life, and how I express myself. I am finally able to be comfortable in my own skin and with the things I still need to work at. I am finding the joy in imperfection again, as life is best lived in the pursuit of happiness, success and growth despite our flaws, the challenges we face and the pitfalls ahead.
Wishing you a happy Monday and hope that you find the motivation in your own life to keep calm and carry on, and that you are at peace with yourself, even if things aren't quite where you would like them to be right now!
To keep up-to-date daily with the epic battle between NG-ma and Ngangsta follow me on Instagram, and Twitter.