Ndhlovukhazi Storyteller Reloaded

Taken last year at our first the A.C.E. Project shoot by Fortress Media.
Styled by Mafashio

No you have not taken the blue pill. I would highly advise sticking to red with this little one - you don't want to really know how deranged and confused I truly am. However, I am expanding my matrix online by shutting down my public profile on Facebook.  It was originally created as an extension of this blog and a way to be able to connect with the Zambian and African media industry in a more accessible and organic way, that a page wouldn't have been able to do at the time, in my opinion.  However, it is clear I have outgrown it, and the best platform is now a page to interact in a way that I am comfortable with, and makes sense with where I am now, and where I want to go.  So I am in the process of shutting Mwana Ba Afrika down and I have launched the Ndhlovukhazi Storyteller page, aiming to take things to the next level. I believe that this is the best way for me to appear publicly on this platform going forward.  It is definitely the best way to better serve those of you interested in knowing about who I am and what I do in an easily accessible way.  Thank you for your continued support, I really appreciate it xo.  So, please like my new page, and I am looking forward to this new path to go on a journey together!

(To understand my decision better, you can read my Top 10 Posts of 2016, as they illustrate and expound on my growth and metamorphosis: thinking about leadership and finding a way to cope with public life better.)

You can find more information about who I am, what I do and the things I am interested in, from a different angle, by liking my new Facebook Page Ndhlovukhazi Storyteller ;}. 

Lenshina and the Inauguration

So this post really isn't about the Inauguration.  Zambia decided and some of us may not have gotten what we wanted, but today incumbent President, His Excellency Edgar Chagwa Lungu, is being sworn in. What has come out of this election cycle is that Zambia is a flock of lost sheep who are so desperate for direction. For me the political arena really isn't the place to duke this out, as personally I do not see my principles and my ideals for Zambia even remotely represented by anyone who seeks to serve in that capacity.  I have no idea what is going on in that ring, so this bull is using her horns to bust out and explore the great wide world out there for answers and to create my own solutions that hopefully have an impact in some way on a larger scale.

Social media reflecting what people I met around #Lusaka today feel: upset that #ZambiaDecides legacy inflammatory, divisive, tribal. Smh 😢😤

— Ngosa Whoopi Chungu (@whoops_c) August 22, 2016

This past weekend I went on an amazing artistic journey quite by accident.  I have been in hibernation pretty much all year, trying to put myself back together after inadvertently finding myself the protagonist in what I realised was a Humpty Dumpty phase.  Thankfully all the King's horses and all the King's men were not required, but this Queen needed a whole lot of soul searching to reemerge.  I may have ended up broken after last year's success, but I am on the mend and patched up enough to move forward.  Part of that has been reconnecting with life in Lusaka and thankfully new hope has revealed itself. I have been inspired by our tenacity, and that artists in particular are finding ways to express themselves, even though this is a fearful time in Zambia - a time in which many of us youth are fearful of things regressing so far - that there will be no path for our future, only a way for the archaic, the disconnected, the greedy and the power-grabbers.

We need to be that Mandela quote and be courageous: not let the fear cripple us but be inspired to overcome #Zambia https://t.co/3e9KC6wIpW

— Ngosa Whoopi Chungu (@whoops_c) August 28, 2016

On Friday I decided to go to a Modzi Arts event about whether we do indeed have Zambian Literature. One of my girl crushes Mulenga Kapwepwe was on the panel and she talked about how it is clear from the way we write today that we have no idea who we are. We defined only in the past tense, in writers long gone. We take on other people's voices, experiences, their landscapes without having visited and try to co-opt their lives unsuccessfully.  We would rather write in broken English, live the life we watch on TV and adopt their truths and their pain, than actually tackle the specifics of our situation.  There is nothing wrong with being inspired by others.  There is everything wrong with living in someone else's skin with no real understanding of who they are and worse who you are.  In order for Zambia to move forward, to create great works, we need to live in our dysfunction, channel that through what we do and manifest, in order to work through and come out the other side wiser, strong and defined.  There is nothing wrong with declaring your truth, however untidy it may be.  If you are discombobulated, say you are and be done with it.  If you need to look back to figure out where you are to move forward, then do so. Take it from someone who has spent their life deranged and confused.  I have blogged over and over about how I live in uncertainty - you can still find identity in the unknown...trust me ;)!

Looking back to move forward is exactly what happened the next day.  I decided to watch Lenshina, a play about the Lumpa Church Uprising after Independence, as when I got home after the literary discussion, the Internet was lit with rave reviews. And I was not disappointed.  Both the UNZA Drum Theatre Troupe skits that preceded the main event and Lenshina were amazingly Zambian and fresh.  I laughed, sighed, cringed, "cried", was challenged, affirmed and above all was moved deeply.  What I loved most was that none of the actors put on weird foreign accents which Zambians seem to think make them sound cooler, more intelligent, more attractive and unfortunately, not Zambian and therefore better when speaking English. This erroneous view, symptomatic of a deep self hatred and low esteem, a glaring manifestation of the colonised mind that we tend to ignore, brush over and worst of all reward, is disturbingly sad to witness and usually detracts from what is being communicated.  I no longer listen to radio because I just can't with most DJs, the most blatant form of rewarding this behaviour.  You are enough mwebantu!  Just speak with whatever accent you have: it's your truth, it is the audio map of your life, be proud of your journey please! I equally was tickled by the fact that vernacular was used: mostly Bemba and in Lenshina, Nyanja and Tonga were also featured. Also, so chuffed I understood pretty much everything, so could get all the jokes as the scripts deftly interwove English with our mother tongues which is the way we quintessentially communicate. I am so glad that the art respected that. Every Zambian I believe is at least bilingual. One Zambia One Nation would not be able to exist in some shape or form without at least understanding your people and the diversity in the vicinity. At this point may I apologise if you were in at the Playhouse with me on Saturday: in true African style, I cackled, hooted and hollered, gasped and talked back so loud I couldn't help myself. I blame the raucous company I keep. And no it wasn't the wine I drank, it was only one glass he he he. It's how we do on the continent, and it's one of my favourite things about the way we immerse ourselves when suspension of reality is required at the theatre or the cinema.  We engage so viscerally and profoundly with art, something that is largely lost in the West. There is theatre etiquette and a separate, more stringent set of rules for the cinema. Ehk! I have been on the receiving end of many a side-eye and tut when I forget where I am when far from home enjoying myself.  Okay maybe I'm not that sorry because clearly I have no control...

What made me proud to be Zambian after the performance was the fact that the youth who put together Lenshina, took on a very controversial subject in a time when people are retreating to their corners and are afraid to speak.  They were able to comment on today using the past. And they did it in a refreshingly modern way, not limited by the comfort Zambians feel in the familiar.  We tend to produce content that is stale, repetitive and tired.  Our complacency, which has led to the disquiet and dissatisfaction that has manifested itself in cadre violence, political clamp downs and the loss of our peace and friendliness, has in turn revealed itself in art that proves that imitation is not always the best form of flattery.  We may have found comfort in knowing what is coming but it keeps us stagnant.  It has stopped us from growing.  And knowing that forces wanting to "help" will come and bail us out has put us in a position of begging.  And this was reflected in some reactions to the play, asking for more of the story as they felt they enjoyed it so much it should have included everything about the Uprising to make it longer, which completely misses the point.

The play took a particular stand.  Unbiased yet strongly pointed.  Was Lenshina in the wrong or was Kaunda?  The rapier delivery of dialogue built on short sentences and each scene ending with the protagonists accusing each other of having "blood on their hands", perfectly articulated the struggle of defining self and moving forward after colonisation - that One Zambia One Nation was something that needed to be worked at even then.  Lives were lost in the struggle and it is up to each of us to come to our own conclusions and most importantly I feel, be inspired by our history not to fall into the same pitfalls our Founding Fathers did. Not to be afraid of different points of view.  To allow for nuance. To respect our differences and work harder to find common ground to ensure peace beyond tolerance.  I will discuss this much going forward as I launch my new endeavour the ACE Project. The play was timely, evident in the fact that religion played a huge part in the confusion and lies were disseminated on both sides to advance each others causes.  Both sides I feel were honourable and authentic in their point of view, but their truths were subjective to their experience and goals which blinded them. That ultimately led to clashes rather than compromise for a better future. To miss those parallels because you weren't given the full story is short-sighted.  To not understand that true art fills your soul yet sparks your spirit to want more is an oversight we cannot avoid. If you feel a different presentation was required, create your own chance, write your own play, give us another view.  Art is never complete, it is supposed to add to the conversation and facilitate the creation of more.  Art is meant to "comfort the uncomfortable and discomfort the comfortable".  It is not meant to necessarily answer your questions, but it can give you peace knowing that the questions are out there and that the answers are being searched for, the solutions and being worked on.  

This play used that past to give us the language today to communicate what we are feeling, to know that this is not anything new, but also to warn us that just because it has happened before, doesn't mean it should happen again.  Repeating history is not an excuse, evidence to be justified in defeat. Instead of praying from a place of hopelessness and not hope, let's help ourselves as deliverance comes to those who demand it through their actions.  Ultimately the play  was able to contribute to the conversations we are having and inspire us to respond in turn. Despite the rickety theatre, the lack of resources, the cast and crew persevered.  Their situation is a metaphor for and the reality of Zambia right now.  They were able to find and communicate a painful beauty despite the shadows trying to overcast and obscure.  They illuminated their desire to succeed in the most thoughtful and entertaining way.  They achieved what great art does, they were able to inspire.  Hence this blog post ;}!

Wine o'clock before #Lenshina  #Zambia story across the road at the Playhouse with @andi.ngwenya @lonahshawa. #wine #love #pelliefun #ngosa34 #proudlyzambian #supportlocal #lenshina #mafashio

A photo posted by Ngosa Whoopi Chungu (@whoops.c) on Sep 10, 2016 at 9:37am PDT

So excited! #Lenshina about to start! pic.twitter.com/XNEkcluGO5

— Ngosa Whoopi Chungu (@whoops_c) September 10, 2016

#Lenshina was amazing! Processing now but feel so invigorated by the #proudlyzambian art I witnessed today... pic.twitter.com/ivgmIXMtVv

— Ngosa Whoopi Chungu (@whoops_c) September 10, 2016

@peternawa great art inspires more art. Glad to see that despite the crazy, we persevere. Expression so important, especially now...

— Ngosa Whoopi Chungu (@whoops_c) September 10, 2016

LEMBA: African Female Bloggers and the Metamorphosis of Love

Mazuba Kapambwe blogger at Afrosocialiting
and I after the Ngoma Awards in
Lusaka, December 2012.
Photo by Silumesii Maboshe
© Pencil Case Studios

Tomorrow as I have mentioned I will be speaking with other wonderful African women about the "Metamorphosis of Love".  This all happened because one of my Stanford besties happens to be besties with Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah of the Adventures from the bedrooms of African Women. I crashed her bday party while falling in love with Ghana in January and afterwards reached out without looking like too much of a stalker fan (ahem I hope he he he).

In my early days of blogging, the Adventures blog was one of my go-to sites for inspiration.  I was so impressed by how bold these women were as, sex is such a taboo subject on the continent.  So is love.    We talk about AIDS and the perils of fornication, and if we do talk about love and sex it's in a church during a wedding where you are given blessing to copulate for procreation and where love is celebrated in a very traditional fashion for a coupla hours.  I digress, as I was saying, this blog inspired me to blaze my own trail with my own voice.  They disappeared for a while, which led me to believe they had been abducted by the forces of silence, but they thankfully came back.

Nana introduced me to Malaka Gyekye Grant, the other half of Adventures.  And then it clicked after a couple of exchanges  that she is the woman of Mind of Malaka whom I had stumbled upon after looking for the original of You Intellectual Scum account and I had another round of geeking out on Twitter with her.  Both have been so kind as to think that I may have something to say about love and the African woman.  I have not blogged much about the subject to be discussed - this post is the only one completely dedicated to it in the Love tag is and I have only made one PSA about safe sex, though I did speak about sexual choices in this post and discrimination here. I basically have skirted around both issues, only really directly addressing them in the first year of the blog and in the AIDS tag.  

Check out the other ladies who will be a part of the Metamorphis of Love Google+ Hangout at 19:00 CAT, 17:00GMT which will be facilitated by Malaka and produced by Nana:

Tosinger from the Nigeria and the USA

The Rambling Roommates from Ghana

Tiffany from South Africa and Kenya

And just for Malaka, as promised, I appeal to a baller Nigeria to be pimpin' and donate to Blogging Ghana's indiegogo campaign to help Ghanaian bloggers tell more stories. Or anyone else with deep pockets for that matter :)... 

@AbenaGyekye how about I get a Nigerian baller to give on this poor Zambian's behalf ha ha ha! When is the deadline, waiting to get paid...
— Ngosa Chungu (@whoops_c) February 10, 2014

Happy New Year: Amashiwi ya Bakulu

Happy New Year from Accra!  So excited to be in West Africa for the first time.  I shall blog about that in due course I promise.  In 2014 I plan to create a system to better accomplish my goal of blogging more, as part of my larger life passion to contribute to creating and populating the internet with more Zambian and African content, after being inspired by this article.  The ridonkulously fast internet here in Ghana is definitely already encouraging me to be more proactive already ;}.

I recently listened to Zambia's first President, Kenneth Kaunda's tribute at Nelson Mandela's funeral - by default amashiwi ya bakulu: words of/ from those who are grown ie: (wise) words from our elders. There was as a lot of furore about his use of the now derogatory term Boer as opposed to the more politically correct and acceptable Afrikaner.  I think people overreacted as he was recounting stories of Mandela's (and his) experience of Apartheid . And KK is old: leave this nonagenarian alone!  He spoke off the cuff, in an impassioned, personal and honest fashion.  I do not think he meant any harm by it.  I think the speech needs to be viewed in context.  I really appreciate the candor, eloquence and authenticity with which he delivered his tribute.  What I took from his outpouring of love for Mandela and his insight into human nature is that we need to stop getting in our own way and realise that we need to "love thy neighbour" as we are all the same: we are all muntu: human in the end.  And in order to do that we need to realise our power and not abuse it by being an agent or active force of subjugation, but use it as a positive and impactful force for change.

So here's to a year dedicated to focusing on creating systems of evolution and inspiration that lead to positive change and to passionate and fulfilled lives - especially in unexpected and interesting ways :)!

Twit Tuesday: Asikana Network's First Connect Forum Zambia

The first Connect Forum was held at New Government
Complex on the 13th of December 2013.

This is a Storify of my tweets during Asikana Network's first Connect Forum to bring women in technology together to network and learn from each other in Zambia.  It was a great event, especially as a few of my new girl crushes were present and imparted their knowledge :).

You can connect with Asikana Network on Facebook and Twitter as well as Connect Forum Zambia on Facebook and Twitter to keep up-to-date with upcoming events for women in technology.

Nelson Mandela: A Selection of Quotes

The Baobab tree best symbolises Nelson Mandela: strength, nourishment,
staying power,  a vessel of wisdom with age.

Thought it would be timely to create a list of Mandela quotes that speak to me right now.  I love quotes.  They are little but impactful bursts of inspiration, priceless nuggets of knowledge.  People who know how to craft words can say the most profound things, with infinite power to uplift, encourage and/ or lead in such short turns of phrase.  Love it. Madiba was a pro.  And I love that unlike many in the world who tried to make him into a saint who could do no wrong so that they could vicariously be good through him, he never saw himself as anything but a man: a fallible human who did the best with what he had.

I will say though, I am a little shocked that I haven't quoted him more often, not even in the Amashiwi section! And I seem to only mention him in relation to others in blog posts.  Which actually shows exactly what he would keep communicating: that your life is only worth its weight in salt if it has impact on others, if it is measured in relation  to others.  I am still ashamed that I haven't dedicated more posts to him in the past...Well there is a whole future to reflect on him in so not to worry.

Quotes that resonate with me at this point in time in my life:

What counts is not the mere fact that we have lived.  It is what difference we have made in the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead.

There is no passion to be found playing small in settling for a life that is less than the one  you are capable of living.

Difficulties break some men but make others. No axe is sharp enough to cut the soul of a sinner who keeps on trying, one armed with the hope that he will come up even in the end. 

I like friends who have independent minds because they tend to make you see problems from all angles.

It is never my custom to use words lightly.  If twenty-seven years in prison  have done anything to us,  it was to use the silence of solitude to make us understand  how precious words are and how real speech is in its impact on the way people live and die.

You sharpen your ideas by reducing yourself to the level of the people  you are with and a sense of humour  and a complete relaxation, even when you're discussing serious things, does help mobilise friends around you.  And I love that. 

Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.

I have learnt that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.  The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.

For to be free is not to merely cast off one's chains but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.

Lead from the back - let other's believe they are in front.

Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.

It always seems impossible, until it is done.

MbA posts with Rolihlahla inspiration:

Nelson Mandela: Paradigm of Legacy to Follow

My Recent Bout of that Icky Nervous Condition...

Music with a Message

Desmond Tutu Announces his Imminent Retirement

Happy Birthday Madiba

Nelson Mandela: Paradigm of Legacy to Follow

Post by Nelson Mandela.

I have been a little out of it recently, and have been struggling to keep up with current events.  Today I was at a bank, in line to deposit cash, when I saw "REMEMBERING MANDELA" on the TV screen  on the wall and my heart stopped.  I was momentarily paralysed as I processed the information in front of me.  A couple of months ago, I posted on Facebook that I was not ready for Mandela to die.  For selfish reasons.  One of my life goals was to meet the man.  Unfortunately I am a late bloomer and so did not make my small mark in the world in time to be able to warrant an audience with him, let alone have such a blessing granted.

I remember when he was freed in 1990, as it was a few days after my birthday.  I remember thinking that this man must be really special, as all the world is watching, people have sung songs for his freedom, and he has survived prison for what seemed like a ten lifetimes to the child I was.  Years later, when I was applying to Stanford, I not only wrote about the Matrix being closer to reality than we think as in Japan, robots were being created to be nurse maids for their ageing population and prototypes already existed, bu also about Madiba.

After those moments of shock, I was at peace when I thought about what I had written in my application.  Despite the odds the man lived a full life.  He lived in the lowest depths, in prisons both literal and proverbial that could have shackled his spirit, extinguished the fire in his soul, and yet he came out 27 years later even more determined to defend freedom, even prouder to be a Black man, a South African, an African and most impressively, even more committed to forgiveness.  Even though he had been wronged repeatedly by white South Africans, he was still willing to extend the olive branch.  Even though he didn't believe in all the actions that Black South Africans took, at times invoking his name to justify their deeds, he did not hold that against them.

The universe works in mysterious ways.  Last night I read these two articles on Forbes: the traits of mentally strong people and about how whether we like it or not, we are all creating a legacy, so we should think about what we are putting out in the world.  Mandela is probably the most mentally strong man of his generation, and of the last Century, and looking at his legacy, it is a paradigm to follow.

Post by Zapiro.

Though Mandela's time may have set physically in this world, his legacy will endure through the ages.  His impact will forever resonate through the world, and I am glad that I can call on it at any time to comfort, inspire and energise me to do better, to be better, to continually evolve and learn.

MHSRIP

Can't wait to watch Idris Elba as Madiba.  Though he may not look like him, I don't think that is necessary.  The acting is more important, and from what I have seen from the trailer and Behind the Scenes shows, he has captured his essence, his charismatic and powerful presence and has done the man justice.  God is good, the omnipotent one may have taken away the man, but being omniscient, has allowed us to experience him through such a beautiful living body he he he ;}

Happiness :)

This is how I feel on the inside but it doesn't always reflect on the outside.
This image will help me to remember myself, which is much needed right now!
African Print Hoodie designed by my favourite ready-to-wear proudly Zambian
label Kamanga Wear.  Photo ©  Pencil Case Studios

I needed to take headshots for an article and ended up spending the afternoon shooting in various locations in Lusaka, just so I could have some professional stock photos.  I am crap at taking pictures coz my face is so expressive I end up looking manic, deranged, psycho, confused, angry, disgusted...< insert unseemly derp face type here >.  As a child I came to accept images of me would not really capture my essence, as being passionate comes at a price.  It could be worse... Not really bothered by it, but it doesn't help when trying to express yourself through photos in my line of work and they don't really reflect you.  Perception and representation are everything in the media.  I come off as inaccessible and aloof when really I am so carefree and silly.  My seriousness is perfectly counterbalanced by a childlike lust for life.  And my happiness is directly proportionally to feeling like I am doing something meaningful with my life.  It doesn't have to be large, even something as small and ephemeral making my niece smile gives me a profound sense of worth and accomplishment.  BIMBO recently sent me this article, that reinforced this and also gave me reason to keep searching for meaning as there are added health benefits that come with it!

Silumesii, the awesomest photographer on the planet, was able to capture my spirit and soul honestly and authentically.  He did not tamper with the image.  This is me unadulterated: no photoshop, no airbrushing, just mother Africa warming my spirit and the sun shining to illuminate my soul from within.  I am an inherently happy person.  I don't actually deal well when I have negative emotions swirling around in my head upon my heart aching to let me know they exist.  My professional life has been causing such angst I'm schizophrenic.  I can feel the ugliness oozing out my of pores and to my detriment.  My see-sawing is affecting others, to my chagrin.  I want to feel like me everyday and not have to hide in the shadows until the darkness allows the light in.  My honesty, though a strength, is also a weakness.  My physical being cannot hide what is festering inside and finds a way to purge, through illness if necessary.  My face betrays me when I do not have the requisite energy to shield those around me from the side-effects of tribulation. This quote sort of encapsulates what I am facing in Zambia right now: People keep trying to thwart my efforts to be my best self through my company because it means them stepping up their game and doing their best too:

"What is apparent, however, is that many Zambians have continued to fold their arms in the false hope that a 'magical' transformation in their lives will magically occur without them necessarily putting in any effort" - Sam Phiri, from article in The Times of Zambia, 4 October 2011

In honour of this photo, I have leafed through my little scribble book and gone through my quotes collection.  I have also done this as it's about time I change the Amashiwi up top in order to reflect my current state of excitement and anticipation as I reemerge after a serious battering, which I address in the aforementioned article that inspired the photoshoot. I will post it when it is published.  As I keep telling myself: don't just sleep, start walking: don't just dream, LIVE!  

Happiness and inspirational Quotes:

"Happiness is not something ready made.  It comes from your own actions" - Dalai Lama

"To thine own self be true" - William Shakespeare from Hamlet

"I think that feeling that if one believed in any cause, then one must have the confidence, the self-certainty, to go through with that particular course of action" - Wole Soyinka, Nigerian Nobel Laureate: Literature 

"Hate is a too great a burden to bear, it injures the hater more than the hated" - Correta Scott King, Human Rights Activist

"The only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve" Albert Schweitzer, Theologian and Physician 

"Sometimes, people call my way of speaking ranting.  Why are you always ranting and screaming, they ask.  But here's the thing...the reason why I rant is because I am a voice for many women that cannot speak out to...those that influence systems of oppression.  And so I rant. And I will not stop ranting until my mission of equality for all girls is achieved" - Leymah Gbowee

"I am not on this earth by chance.  I am here for a purpose and that purpose is to grow into a mountain, not to shrink into a grain of sand" - Og Mandino

"I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself" - Rita Mae Brown

"Life isn't about finding yourself.  Life is about creating yourself" - George Bernard Shaw

"We are boxed in by the boundary condition of our thinking" - Albert Einstein

"Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything" - George Bernard Shaw

"What I know for sure: There is no greater gift you can give or recieve than to honour your true calling.  It's why you were born.  And how you become most truly alive" - Oprah Winfrey

"Life is going to give you just what you put in it.  Put your whole heart into everything you do and pray then you can wait...God helps those who help themselves" - Maya Angelou from I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door" - Milton Berle

"If you are going to do creative work that will change the world, then there is one ingredient to your success: REST.  You must take time to take care of your soul, to check in with your emotional self and make sure all is well with your inner life.  This is ESSENTIAL more than with any other type of work in my opinion.  Because your vocation requires you to pull from within, to consult the genius inside of you, to reach into the depths of your soul and share it with the world - to inspire to encourage, challenge and change.  I will say it again: If you endeavour to create, you must rest" - Jeff Goins

"The fact that you're struggling doesn't make you a burden.  It doesn't make you unlovable or undesirable or undeserving of care.  It doesn't make you too much or too sensitive or too needy.  It makes you human.  Everyone struggles.  Everyone has a difficult time coping, and at times, we all fall apart.  During these times, we aren't always easy to be around - and that's okay.  No one is easy to be around 100 percent of the time.  Yes you may sometimes do or say things that make people around you feel helpless or sad.  But these things aren't all of who you are and they certainly don't discount your worth as a human being.  The truth is that you can be struggling and still be loved.  You can be difficult and still be cared for.  You can be less than perfect and still be deserving of compassion and kindess" - Daniell Koepke

Top 10 Posts of 2012

As you can see I spent a lot of time in the bundus.
This was my first day of shooting in Kalomo,
Southern Province, Zambia.

Though  I did make a quick post in January, Happy New Year for the blog always starts with the Top 10 of the year before.  So Happy New Year seeing as I don't really believe in new year starting on the 1st of January coz sometimes you just aren't ready.  This year I had a lot more to contend with.  Finally got traction in my professional life and got more than I bargained for, so from November 2012 to March 2013 I was somewhere in 8 of the 10 provinces in Zambia researching, script-writing and filming the Today with Zamtel show.  After that was working on my documentary film project, then I went on a social media break and then I fell ill.  So forgive me he he he he ;}.

Yes traditionally things commence anew in January but let's face it, some of us are not organised enough to be ready to start afresh when the Gregorian calender dictates, and seeing as this blog's new year technically is in May, as it was founded in that month in 2010, starting when ready has become a bit of a (bad?) habit.  Last year we (yes I am using the Royal we) were together by February and what I said then still rings true now:  It's not when you start, it's the starting that's important.

Luckily I am recovering well and can get back into the swing of things and get back writing for me not for anyone else. So without further ado here are the Top 10 Posts of 2012 with my favouritest first of course:

1.   Mobile Tales: Part 1 - The Blues

2.   Polychronic Global Music Mix

3.   Zed Culture Part IV: Monochronic vs. Polychronic

4.   Chipolopolo Stunner

5.   Joyeux Jour De L'Afrique Tout Le Monde

6.   We Are Better Than That

7.   Zed Culture Part II: Happy 48th Zed

8.   Positively Woman

9.   Bullet Wounds

10. Zed Culture Part III: A Call to Arms

Check out the two MUNTUs I was able to post about too: Duncan and Towani.

I like the fact that most of these posts are Zambian themed.  I think this marks me finally becoming connected with my national identity after decades of feeling constantly on the fringe, never really able to find my place in my country's society.  YAY! I write this while also having a crisis of faith as I ponder moving to South Africa to be more creatively free.  What would life be if there weren't such conundrums to torture one's soul...

Joyeux Jour De L'Afrique Tout Le Monde! :)

Painting by an Evelyn Hone student hanging at the College's
Art Studio located at the Lusaka Showgrounds

Je suis desolée pour mon français mal.  I'm sure that is wrong too but at least I have tried - it's the thought that counts :). Happy Africa Day, Africa Freedom day, Feliz Dia de África and if you are in Kenya Happy Madaraka Day (celebrated in Kenya on June 1st to commemorate the day the country achieved internal-self rule during colonial times before attaining full independence on 12th Dec 1963) in advance.  In French today really does sound like a day to be up to no good by getting your freak on.  Or some precursor to Halloween...I digress as usual, I have to find a way to stop this nonsense! Today is all about positivity and celebration of our lovely continent, and to remind ourselves that we are not shackled by outside forces, we are the only ones standing in the way of unlocking our potential by either being to afraid to use it or by letting others continue to keep us down. 

First I would like to celebrate my country, Zambia.  2012 has been a great year for me so far, as it has finally given me the opportunities to justify me wanting to repatriate and make the continent my base, even though people have repeatedly tried to discourage me.  As much as I enjoy and have friends in the West, the motherland is my home and I am meant to be here contributing to its development and to changing perceptions about her for the better.  In these last five months I have met with some wonderful people through sport, media and technology.  And then of course, my love for the African continent never ceases, it only grows. This is a milestone year for me, having entered my fourth decade and I feel so young, and alive and for the first time in a long time like there is an exciting and fulfilling life ahead of me and that the African Dream is a reality and am already making headway and living it.  So I'm going to do a 3-4-10 to express being "Proudly Zambian. Positively African": the tagline for my soon to be formed TV and film production company (more to come about that soon :)). 

3 people and/ groups I'm crushing on:

1. The Chipolopolo and their AFCON win

TIA.  Copyright infringement does not apply here. Many street
vendors sell a lot of  illegal and unsanctioned Chipolopolo
merchandise.  This team"photo" can be purchased
at any traffic light.

ILELELELELELELELELELELELELE!  People believe that it was divine destiny that we were able to win the trophy after 3 finals appearances each about 2 decades apart and  that our triumph came almost 20 years after the 1993 tragedy that wiped out a generation of Chipolopolo in one fell swoop and gutted the country in such a way that we never thought we would recover.  The boys showed us that if you believe and you work hard to realise your dreams, they are very much achieveable.  It is up to you to reach out and grab your opportunities and our national team did  that by demonstrating how shoot to kill with copper bullets all the way to the final, where they slayed the mighty elephants of Cote D'Ivoire.  The country was brought together during this time in a way I have not seen since forever and it has infused a new wave of possibility and opportunity.  All I can say is come next year in South Africa "One Zambia. One Nation.",  "Nafuti, Nafuti" (Again and Again), "Donchi Kubeba!" (Don't tell) he he he he he.  Basically shoot to kill, take no prisoners, we want another bloodbath. Natowts! 

2. Leymah Gbowee

The evidence of my shameless love for my No 1 girl crush is splattered all over Facebook he he he.  From her rocking African fashion to her beautiful mind, she's just da bomb yo! Recently she posted two insightful things on her page: 

"I spoke at a function today and shared my views on development.  Expatriate-led NGOs and funders should understand that the best work being done to address African's problems isn't necessarily on the Internet, at NGO meetings in the capital or in New York.  A lot of the best work  is being done by Africans who stay in their communities, who don't have website, and keep their door open even without funding."

"The greatest threat to security in West Africa is unemployed youth."  

I think the second quote extends to many parts of the continent. There are many a disgruntled youth here in Zambia for sure, who were promised jobs and have not seen the fruits from the seeds that were supposed to have been planted to create a employment tree with many branches extending to all industries.

3. Her Excellency Joyce Banda

My love for her is also painted all over my profile.  She came to power under tragic and unfavourable circumstances but has not let this unsettle her.  She has been a Big Mama and has gotten right down to business and has taken to the role of President of Malawi with grace, strength, positive controversy and aplomb.  Her outspokeness on President Bashir being allowed to attend AU meetings, her lifting of the homosexual ban to her sacking the Police Chief all within a month of taking on the top job show that she is not afraid to weild her power on behalf of her people in order to secure peace within her country's borders, secure Aid from overseas and to respect the human rights of her citizens.  I heart :).

You can read more about my love for the Chipolopolo in this post written after the AFCON semis (was too caught up in the Final and by the time I'd calmed down I decided not to write about it as I just wanted to enjoy the win.  One day I shall do something about what that meant but you can see evidence on Facebook.)  For more on my girl crushes read these posts: Positively Woman and My Recent Bout of that Icky Nervous Condition....

4 inspirational African proverbs:

1. Love the Truth even though it harms you and hate the lies even if they serve you - Morroco

2. Where there is love there is no darkness - Burundi

3. It is better to weep with wise men than to laugh with fools - Ethiopia

4. Help me during the flood and I will help you during the drought - Tanzania

10 songs I'm feeling right now:

From Zed:

1. No explanation needed for this one methinks (sorry about the bum in your face, I have no control over that.  It will go away when you play the vid he he he)...

2. As I said when I posted this on Facebook, this is a track that provides the soundtrack to your moment outside in the garden nursing a nice South African red. If it is really hot, a Rosé is a refreshing substitute...

3. Life can get too serious and so can people with their music.  I like this track coz it's light and infuses global pop sounds with Zambian flavour.  Easy going and easy to dance to...

From the continent:

4. Though sometimes it's good for music to have a message and have meaning.  Here is a good example...


5.  The Mr. Endowed to my Mrs. had to be on the list of course because it is no secret I am twisted over this Oliver-o he he he he ;}...


6.  We love to dance in celebration and will find any excuse to do so here on the continent.  It's a good thing that we make good dance tracks to move to...


7.  Though my friends keep telling me I'm better than that, I have no qualms about being a gold-digger of the trophy wife persuasion and if P-Square don't care I'll spend their money plenty...


8. "All I know is Swagger" coz like the Channel I'm original and they tell me all the time I'm "young gifted and African" and you know what, you are too (even if you weren't born here at some point we all came from this beautiful land albeit thousands of years ago he he he he) :)


9. Just love this track...


10. Started with a positive track about Africa and we shall end with one too :).  Activate Afrika!

Pharoah No More

FINALLY!!!! How much more violence, protesting and economic standstill could Mubarak have turned a blind eye to?! Then again he is an African leader and a typical one at that: an old school benevolent dictator that refuses to see that his children have grown up and don't need such heavy handed rearing because they can think for themselves. I am so glad that the Egyptians did not back down and fought to the end for what they believe in.  Even though the change came at more of a cost than it did for the Tunisians, at least they have been rewarded for their efforts. The Vice President announced today that President Mubarak was stepping down and relinquishing power to the armed forces, whom are still looked on favourably by the protesters it seems. Tahrir Square has lived up to its name - it has allowed the protesters to not be deterred by the "wall of fear" and provided a place for them to voice their demands these last two and half weeks and they have been rewarded with liberation from 30 years of autocratic rule.

Here is video of Hosni Mubarak's speech that he gave yesterday, refusing to step down and continuing to maintain that he loves Egypt, its people and is doing the best for the country because he selflessly cares about the demands the protesters have made and will endeavour to fulfill them:

It is quite clear that the Egyptians did not believe him and how quickly he changed his tune (well since yesterday anyways, not over the last few weeks obviously)! The protesters angered by his word, stormed Heliopolis, where the Palace housing the executive office of the President is located, and this was probably the final straw that irreparably broke the camel's back.

Here is a video of jubilant celebration after the news of Mubarak's demise:

If it is true that he has gone to Sharm El Sheik, I have no words! Has he just up and left all of a sudden and has decided to go on holiday?! Didn't he hear about the recent shark attacks in the area? ;} 

You can follow events live at the BBC and Al Jazeera.

Inshallah this is the beginning of a peaceful transition and the violence does not bleed into Egypt's next steps. And I hope that even though Mubarak may have outstayed his welcome, the Egyptians do let him fade into the background in a dignified manner as he has played a pivotal role in trying to keep the peace in the Middle East.

Kefaya!

I knew that kefaya meant enough but had no idea that it was actually an recognised moniker for an Egyptian coalition that has been opposing President Mubarak for quite some time.  There I was just trying to make sure that I was right and Google turned up this little nugget of information.  You learn something new everyday, it's true :).

I am however saying enough to the craziness of the Egyptian situation.  It has descended into people losing sight of their true goals I think.  Now there are machine guns, fire and stones drowning out the once peaceful protests against the current regime, now reduced to an echo we have to strain our ears to hear.  Mubarak has formally announced his commitment to stepping down in September, has officially declared that his son Gamal will not run in the next elections and has barred several ministers from fleeing the country by freezing their assets. And he has every right to fear that the country could fall into further disarray if he just ups and leaves as some would have him do. Now there are deaths and the injury count is inching ever closer to 1000 and all this happened in a day! At the same time, as many Western leaders have said, it looks unlikely that Mubarak can hold out until September.  The situation is getting worse and people fear what will happen tomorrow. I am happy that the army is stepping in now to separate the opposing groups.

Fear seems to be driving a lot of decisions lately.  In Algeria, in an attempt to counteract any attempts to protest a la Tunisia and Eygpt, the Algerian President has quickly employed countermeasures to appease his people.  President Bouteflika has annouced that the state of emergency imposed in the 90s to will be lifted very soon.  Who knew?!   There are so many things I do not know and it is no excuse that I am not the only one who was in the dark about North Africa.  I am glad that I am learning although I wish it had not been spurred by what is now turning into a tragedy.

To keep following the BBC is continuing its live feed with video and textual updates here.

You can also watch Al Jazeera live here.

The newly elected Prime Minister, Ahmed Shaqif, has apologised for yesterdays attacks.  He vowed that justice will prevail and  has condemned the violence stressing that the perpetrators will be sought out and punished.  Protesters believe that the pro-Mubarak factions are organised and sponsored by the government.  The weaponry that they are using is too sophisticated and it seems that they are working to a schedule.  The Prime Minister, while denying government involvement has indicated that if this is the case, it will be found out and dealt with all the same. Here is a video of his press conference:

Peaceful Protest No More

Unfortunately, after President Mubarak's speech yesterday, in which he asked for stability and talked about how Egyptian he is and how much he loves his country, today the once peaceful protests have taken an ugly turn.  Even though the internet and the banking system have been restored, people are not satisfied with Mubarak stepping down until September and the opposition have called for him to step down on Friday.  I have been gripped to this story all day, hearing how men on horses and camels have led those in support of Mubarak to clash with those who have been protesting for the last week.  And now Cairo is ablaze :(.  Why have these guys suddenly come out of the woodwork? Is this a clever political ploy as many of the protesters fear? Is Mubarak trying to swing public opinion to make him seem less like an autocrat and more like a benevolent dictator who is trying to make a dignified exit? Is he afraid he will have to live out his days in exile like his Tunisian doppelganger?

I am sad that unlike in Tunisia, where the power shift was quick to let the country make a peaceful transition, Egypt has turned violent.  One lady, who was interviewed by the BBC in the thick of things at Tahrir square, said she was fearful as even though the world thinks of Egypt as a moderate place with apathetic citizens, once Egyptians make up their minds they are stubborn.  She called for compromise and for people to see that they had won: Mubarak has stepped down and all they have to do is wait a couple of months for the election.  She could see no one who has enough support to go on TV and talk down the protesters and felt that the situation will only get worse if people do not see this victory for what it is.  I really hope that Mubarak did not pay people to start the fighting. And I hope that even though the West has a vested interest economically, politically and militarily that they do not interfere.  It will only make things worse.  We have to let the Egyptians come to their own truth otherwise if things further deteriorate Western intervention will be blamed and people will not take responsibility for their actions.

It seems that in Yemen things have gone smoothly, and surprisingly in Jordan, there have been protests to oust their Prime Minister! I am shocked as I think of Jordan as like Egypt.  It is crazy how Tunisia has created such a domino effect in such a short period of time.

You can watch a live feed and get regular updates from the BBC here.

Here is a transcript of President Mubarak's speech yesterday.

Here is video of the clashes today:

North Africa Update - Egypt, Tunisia, Sudan

Egypt:

The protesting continues and has escalated to being more deadly that Iran's Green Movement and now people are looting :( and some are guarding their heritage, such as with the incident at the National Museum, while asking for their rights.  I am sad that things are not getting better and that violence is still playing a major role in this struggle.  I have no idea why President Mubarak thinks that having a Vice President for the first time and a Prime Minister is going to sway public opinion.  He is still at the top of the pyramid, which is where the people are calling for the most change! It also always amuses me when the international community put in their calls and pleas for this leader to step down or for justice.  No matter what the West says, what will be done in Egypt will be done and quite frankly sometimes I think that their 2 cents actually hinders rather than helps the process.  Due to the complicated and patronising relationship the West has with the rest of the world, it always seems that if people follow what they say, even if it is the right thing to do, then it causes accusations of puppetry and things.  Sometimes it is just best to watch, however painful it may be, and let people sort out their problems and be proffer help when it is sought.

For great background and ridiculously detailed and regular updates on what is going on in Egypt, take a look at this blog post on Mother Jones that is dedicated to keeping us up-to-date as developments arise.  Thanks to DR JOURNO for letting me know about this and helping me on my quest to get up-to-speed on the Eygptian situation historically and presently.

Here is a video with an update on how the army is responding.  I am glad that the army officer says "Demonstrate and express yourselves, but at night clear the streets and let us handle the thugs." Many people are ignoring the curfews put in place which are for their own protection.  The army is having difficulty distinguishing between the "good" and the "bad".  I hope that other army units take this human approach on board to keep the protests safe.



Here is a Al Jazeera edition of Inside Story that focuses on Mohammed El Baradei, a man who believes that he is the change Egypt needs and his support has been gathering momentum.  There is also a great and balanced discussion about the present regime and the barriers in place to keep the governmental status quo:



I also just want to touch on the fact that the regime shut down the internet two days ago when they realised that social media was part of the logistical tactics of the protesters.  This is unacceptable.  What I love about the internet is that it affords the average citizen the ability to express themselves in the public or private sphere at little cost.  It enables those who are not activists an easy entry to participation in political matters.  It provides low barriers to entry to protests.  All they need to see is when and where and they can mobilise, they don't need to have pledged allegiance to the fight or have paid dues.  This media tumblr image says it all in the case of Egypt.

Tunisia:

Ben Ali's brother in-law is seeking asylum in Canada but has been denied. Here is a list of the key players in the Tunisia's transition.  And here is a video outlining how Tunisia's protests were fueled by people being able to connect through social media to ultimately hit the streets and how Eygpt has been inspired and is following the same trajectory:



"Tunisia is alive.  Don't be afraid.  We are not dead." So beautifully powerful a statement in its simplicity.  Both Egypt and Tunisia are more alive to me that they ever were.  I feel like North African states are portrayed as the "dead" parts of the Arab world in the media.  They are the places you go holiday, places to find middle ground, but not the places that are really focused on as the axis of evil in the war on terror.  I am glad that they are defining themselves in their own eyes so publicly and thus enlightening us.

Sudan:

Secession is imminent.  99.57% voted for seperation and President Bashir has said he will acknowledge the results when they are officially announced next month.

The Global Fund - A Victim Of Its Own Transparency?

Over the past week I have been following the media coverage surrounding the Global Fund to Fight AIDS, Tuberculosis and Malaria spurred by an incendiary article published by the Associated Press. They claimed to have the scoop on serious fraud that affects almost two thirds of grants awarded to countries from the USD 13 billion already disbursed of the USD 27.1 billion the Fund currently manages.  This has spurred a lot of press coverage in the US, and culminating in the likes of Fox New's Billy O'Reilly throwing in their 2 cents and at the other end of the spectrum, articles like this one featured in the Huffington Post.

AP acted very irresponsibly.  I would have expected more from such a prestiguous news agency.  The information about the fraud in Mali, Djibouti and Zambia (oh why my country why), amongst others, had already been reported by the Office of the Inspector General at the Global Fund in October and was discussed by the Board in December.  It was on the Global Fund's Website for all to see as this official statement explains. This wasn't a breaking story. And the fraud indicated, while a considerable amount of the funds disbursed to each country, actually amounts to 0.3% of the Global Fund's total grant disbursements of 13 million to date.  This article from the Center for Global Development explains the shoddy reporting and distortion of the truth through statistical convolution clearly.

The Global Fund is the major financier for programs involving AIDS, tuberculosis and malaria around the world and 60% of their grants fund projects on the African continent.  This worries me greatly as news of Sweden threatening to stop funding and big donors like Germany halting funding pending resolution. It is clear that many donors are feeling the pinch and with the furor of articles in the USA, the biggest contributor to the Fund, it seems inevitable that the Fund will not be receiving all the funds that President Obama pledged last year.  If the defense budget in the US is no longer untouchable, it would be foolish to think that money for the disenfranchised far away on the "dark continent" is safe.

Another worrisome thing is that a lot of these articles keep referring to the fact that celebrities back this Fund. Honestly what has that got to do with the price of eggs???!!! They seem to be indicating that even though the Global Fund has tried to model itself differently from the bureaucratic style of the UN and other multilateral organisations, it has failed and we have all been fooled into thinking otherwise by celebrities who know nothing and have just jumped on the bandwagon because it was the trendy thing to do.  I would take this cynical view too if these were just any celebrities clearly would hawk anything for publicity but they are talking of people like Bono and Bill Gates.  These are serious individuals who have gone above and beyond what the average celebrity does and dedicate their time, money, and energy through their own Foundations to partner with the Global Fund.  Bobby Shriver, co-founder of (RED), had this to say in an article co-written with Bono in the Huffington Post.  And Bill Gates issued a statement in support of the Global Fund through his Foundation. Both parties have valid and thoughtful points.

I am glad that the Zambian media are not trying to cover up our government's lack of respect for donors and are acknowledging the shame that comes with being named as corrupt.  Every time I see Zambia in media in this regard I am just so angry.  Why? Why? We are such a tiny nation and usually go unnoticed.  Is this how we want to make ourselves known?! Jeez! The only way to stop people thinking that they can get away with corruption because donors will not stop giving because they are still able to help those in need regardless needs to stop.  This takes away from successes like that of Rwanda who have used the funds they have received wisely and are now on track to achieving universal coverage in providing ARV to all its citizens living with HIV and AIDS.

It is sad to see that in this day an age information has the power to not only empower but to potentially destroy.  In doing the right thing, the Global Fund's information has been manipulated to question its credibility and moreover its usefulness in global health financing and the achievement of the Millenium Development Goals.  Are donors really willing to stop saving lives at all when right now they are saving millions with 99.7% of the money that have been disbursed through the Global Fund around the world? Because withdrawing 100% means condemning millions versus losing thousands of lives to save millions. Military triage is necessary here, we have to cut our loses for the greater gain however painful it may be to think about and ultimatley follow through on. The end does justify the means here. Morality does not have to be absolute here.  If you are corrupt then we will not help is too black and white.  The world is grey. We can still do good while trying to snuff corruption out.  At least the Global Fund is trying to not only operate in the current global climate, but is also simultaneously trying to change it for the better as well.  You have to support an organisation that is trying to do the right thing on both counts and is able to acknowledge failiures.  The World Bank and the UN want to be applauded for doing good without being responsible for accountability for fear of losing donors and they have greater loses. Hmmmm...

I think that what Bill Gates said sums up what the Global Fund has done and why all this harping on about 0.3% of Funds going missing is completely illogical and uncalled for:

"The Global Fund has contributed to unprecedented advances in preventing and treating some of the worst diseases in th world.  We know that dealing with these hard-to-reach places is challenging, but not trying to save these lives is unacceptable."

I leave you to ruminate as this Guardian blog does on whether the Global Fund can weather the storm. And here is a video with Koffi Annan and others explaining just how important this Fund is to tackling AIDS, tuberculosis and malaria.  I hope that in the future, the Global Fund implements mechanisms to better deal with corruption at the country level.  Even though it is trying to empower countries by giving them control of their disbursements,  it has to figure out a way to make sure that better mechanisms are in place to deal with fraud and corruption in order to avoid another scandal like this from happening again. Being transparent is admirable, but it can be construed as a way to dodge the responsibility of accountability by using this openness as a scapegoat when things go wrong during the implementation of the grants they approve.