Woolgather Wednesday: Kindness Ate The Quail

Kafue Bridge,  Kafue, Zambia
© George Mutale

I hear you say what ate the what? And what has that got to do with this very eeriely arresting and beautiful image of a bridge?! What drugs am I smoking right?  Have no fear, this is Woolgather Wednesday: hallucination, rumination and seriously profound excogitation from interesting angles, not LSD trips and caterpillar hookah smoking Alice in Wonderland style high-ness, is the order of the day.  All will be revealed - trust me and skip (yes skip like a little girl in afropuffs) with me down head trippy lane.  I promise I will take you out of Kansas and all the way to Oz safely and responsibly without the need for sparkly red pumps or hallucinogens he he he.

So let me start at the beginning.  I was having a conversation with my Mummy about what it takes to do the right thing, to be a good person,  to live life with purpose, to affect the world positively and to interact with people personally and professionally without getting burned.  One thing led to another and she uttered a Bemba proverb to comfort me: 

Uluse lwalile inkwale: Kindness ate the quail.

I, like I am assuming you, was like what does that mean??!!! Niceness or kindness ate what? I didn't even know inkwale meant to add to my already discombobulated mind. I really did not need to be confused, I do that quite well on my own. My mother then let me know what it meant and I was like Mummy what drugs have you been smoking?! She hushed me and proceed to tell me that the proverb stems from the story of insoka yalile inkwale: the snake that ate the quail.  I shall now enlighten you, and yes you will feel I should have prefaced the proverb with story, but it is the Zambian and African way to do things backwards and in circles to deliver sage words and concepts for growth and learning - the old confuse to enlighten jedi mind trick:

There was a snake that was in distress and a quail walked by and seeing another in need, decided to be a Good Samaritan and helped the snake out.  Once the snake was out of danger, instead of thanking the quail, it proceeded to have the bird for dinner. Yah, the snake ate the quail! 

The moral of the story is that you can be kind, but that doesn't mean you will be rewarded for your benevolence.  In fact, you can be taken advantage of and end up worse for wear. So in the end you can feel like you have been eaten like the quail after you direct your kindness to snake-like people and/ or situations.

I know, DEEEEEEEEP man!  And if I ever meet that snake I have some choice words for it and will not hold back with the expletives...

Okay, so what has this got to do with bridges? Well I thought about this and I realised that lately I have repeatedly allowed myself to be eaten like the quail that was eaten by the snake.  Good thing is that I have recognised the situations and people that have contributed to the feasting, taken responsibility for my part, learnt from my actions and thankfully also am determined to rise like the phoenix a better person and wiser for it and so have come to this conclusion:

The important thing is to be kind to yourself and that is not selfish, it is paramount to survival. And also be kind for kindness sake and don't expect anything in return which, is also being kind to you as being a good person is never bad.  Expecting things that are not guaranteed however is not being good to yourself, that's just setting yourself up to be unnecessarily hurt.   If you are kind to yourself and for kindness' sake, you are less likely to become the quail and be eaten by the snakes out there.  And sometimes that means letting bridges burn: letting people fall out of your life and cutting off avenues for negativity and problems from elsewhere to bleed into your life.  

Sometimes you need to be cruel to be kind because being nice allows the snakes to crawl in with malice, to writhe and wreak havoc in your life. And you don't want to be nice: nice people are too concerned with people liking them and not with whether they are doing good or are good.  Be a troll sometimes: if people do not measure up to pay the toll and/ or if the situation you are faced with will cost you more, under no circumstances should you allow passage for any of that to play a part in your life.  Being kind to yourself means you will be kind to others because you will be happier, and wont want to hiss and lash out with the venom that comes with being bitter from what you let into your life.  When kindness eats you, you become a snake too.  

So don't be a quail, or a snake - be a troll and guard your life's bridges with kindness.

I have vowed to only write about things if I can put a positive spin on them, especially if there is negativity or criticism involved.  And when I write motivational posts, many times it is to hold myself to being better as once out there, I can shame myself when I do not honour my convictions and take my own advice.  And if there is anything that anyone else can gather from it, that's an added bonus.

I hope that this post is as kind to you as the woolgathering sojourn from my mind, to transforming my thoughts into the 1s and 0s I have written and you have just read, has been kind to me ;}

Twit Tuesday: Inspire Abantu

© Chosa Mweemba of Fiahlink Photography
This photo was taken during #BeautifulLusaka Photowalk
around Lusaka's CBD in December 2013.  To find out more
check out Beautiful Lusaka campaign  Facebook and Twitter
and tfind out more about upcoming photowalks with
photographer Dan Hartwright

Inspire Abantu (abantu in Bemba means people) is a new Zed tumblr focused on putting out inspirational words, pictures, videos and art from Zambia to affect the world.  I was asked to write some uplifting words for the blog and happily obliged.  I am all for putting out positivity into the world.  Maya Angelou believes you should pick your words carefully as when you unleash them, they affect in ways we still do not fully understand, so be mindful of the damage they can do.  I write to soothe my soul and to quieten my spirit in the hopes that they may offer solace, healing and inspiration to others too.  Hopefully every now and again my amashiwi (words) have a positive effect :).

For my attempt to Inspire Abantu, click on the link below:

'Passion is the fuel for change, determination is infectious.'- @whoops_c Read more http://t.co/zs9gZLAqnE
— Inspire Abantu (@InspireAbantu) March 30, 2014

For more MbA inspiration check out the The MbA Way and  Inspirational/ Insightful Quotes tags on the blog. 

Soul Food Friday: "Top 10 Posts" of 2013

As usual, I am rounding up the last year's top 10 posts. Soul Food Friday is a good day to reflect on the year past.  Unfortunately in 2013 I wrote even less than I did in 2012. Shame on me:  I only managed a paltry 16 posts!  I have vowed to stop the rot, and find a way to create a system that allows me to blog at least once a week, twice if I can to make sure that I have more to choose from (I have blogged about creating better life systems already this year here).  I also have to deal with my work-life balance.  Blogging for me is therapeutic and a hobby so I can't let my professional life drain me to the point I have no juice left in the tank to bang on my computer keys to compose word rhapsodies.  I think it is important to have a way decompress with fun activities that replenish your passion tank.  

So the top 10 will really be the top 7 plus a bonus: the profile of me in Kenyan onilne mag AfroElle celebrating Afropolitans around the world.  

1. A Tale of Self Motivation Through Video and Images

2. Twit Tuesday: Zed Childhood Trip Down Memory Lane

3. Happiness

4. Twit Tuesday Debut: Justin Timberlake Jimmy Fallon and #Hastags

5. Y Zed Series: Barefeet Theatre - A ROARing Good Time Part II

6. Nelson Mandela: A Selection of Quotes

7. Twit Tuesday: Asikana Network's First Connect Forum Zambia

8. AfroElle Magazine Afropolitan Issue p 46-49

If you can't access the magazine, you can read my article below (click on them to enlarge them):

Check out the Top 10 posts for 2012, 2011 and 2010 too :)! 

Happy New Year: Amashiwi ya Bakulu

Happy New Year from Accra!  So excited to be in West Africa for the first time.  I shall blog about that in due course I promise.  In 2014 I plan to create a system to better accomplish my goal of blogging more, as part of my larger life passion to contribute to creating and populating the internet with more Zambian and African content, after being inspired by this article.  The ridonkulously fast internet here in Ghana is definitely already encouraging me to be more proactive already ;}.

I recently listened to Zambia's first President, Kenneth Kaunda's tribute at Nelson Mandela's funeral - by default amashiwi ya bakulu: words of/ from those who are grown ie: (wise) words from our elders. There was as a lot of furore about his use of the now derogatory term Boer as opposed to the more politically correct and acceptable Afrikaner.  I think people overreacted as he was recounting stories of Mandela's (and his) experience of Apartheid . And KK is old: leave this nonagenarian alone!  He spoke off the cuff, in an impassioned, personal and honest fashion.  I do not think he meant any harm by it.  I think the speech needs to be viewed in context.  I really appreciate the candor, eloquence and authenticity with which he delivered his tribute.  What I took from his outpouring of love for Mandela and his insight into human nature is that we need to stop getting in our own way and realise that we need to "love thy neighbour" as we are all the same: we are all muntu: human in the end.  And in order to do that we need to realise our power and not abuse it by being an agent or active force of subjugation, but use it as a positive and impactful force for change.

So here's to a year dedicated to focusing on creating systems of evolution and inspiration that lead to positive change and to passionate and fulfilled lives - especially in unexpected and interesting ways :)!

Nelson Mandela: A Selection of Quotes

The Baobab tree best symbolises Nelson Mandela: strength, nourishment,
staying power,  a vessel of wisdom with age.

Thought it would be timely to create a list of Mandela quotes that speak to me right now.  I love quotes.  They are little but impactful bursts of inspiration, priceless nuggets of knowledge.  People who know how to craft words can say the most profound things, with infinite power to uplift, encourage and/ or lead in such short turns of phrase.  Love it. Madiba was a pro.  And I love that unlike many in the world who tried to make him into a saint who could do no wrong so that they could vicariously be good through him, he never saw himself as anything but a man: a fallible human who did the best with what he had.

I will say though, I am a little shocked that I haven't quoted him more often, not even in the Amashiwi section! And I seem to only mention him in relation to others in blog posts.  Which actually shows exactly what he would keep communicating: that your life is only worth its weight in salt if it has impact on others, if it is measured in relation  to others.  I am still ashamed that I haven't dedicated more posts to him in the past...Well there is a whole future to reflect on him in so not to worry.

Quotes that resonate with me at this point in time in my life:

What counts is not the mere fact that we have lived.  It is what difference we have made in the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead.

There is no passion to be found playing small in settling for a life that is less than the one  you are capable of living.

Difficulties break some men but make others. No axe is sharp enough to cut the soul of a sinner who keeps on trying, one armed with the hope that he will come up even in the end. 

I like friends who have independent minds because they tend to make you see problems from all angles.

It is never my custom to use words lightly.  If twenty-seven years in prison  have done anything to us,  it was to use the silence of solitude to make us understand  how precious words are and how real speech is in its impact on the way people live and die.

You sharpen your ideas by reducing yourself to the level of the people  you are with and a sense of humour  and a complete relaxation, even when you're discussing serious things, does help mobilise friends around you.  And I love that. 

Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.

I have learnt that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.  The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.

For to be free is not to merely cast off one's chains but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.

Lead from the back - let other's believe they are in front.

Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.

It always seems impossible, until it is done.

MbA posts with Rolihlahla inspiration:

Nelson Mandela: Paradigm of Legacy to Follow

My Recent Bout of that Icky Nervous Condition...

Music with a Message

Desmond Tutu Announces his Imminent Retirement

Happy Birthday Madiba

Nelson Mandela: Paradigm of Legacy to Follow

Post by Nelson Mandela.

I have been a little out of it recently, and have been struggling to keep up with current events.  Today I was at a bank, in line to deposit cash, when I saw "REMEMBERING MANDELA" on the TV screen  on the wall and my heart stopped.  I was momentarily paralysed as I processed the information in front of me.  A couple of months ago, I posted on Facebook that I was not ready for Mandela to die.  For selfish reasons.  One of my life goals was to meet the man.  Unfortunately I am a late bloomer and so did not make my small mark in the world in time to be able to warrant an audience with him, let alone have such a blessing granted.

I remember when he was freed in 1990, as it was a few days after my birthday.  I remember thinking that this man must be really special, as all the world is watching, people have sung songs for his freedom, and he has survived prison for what seemed like a ten lifetimes to the child I was.  Years later, when I was applying to Stanford, I not only wrote about the Matrix being closer to reality than we think as in Japan, robots were being created to be nurse maids for their ageing population and prototypes already existed, bu also about Madiba.

After those moments of shock, I was at peace when I thought about what I had written in my application.  Despite the odds the man lived a full life.  He lived in the lowest depths, in prisons both literal and proverbial that could have shackled his spirit, extinguished the fire in his soul, and yet he came out 27 years later even more determined to defend freedom, even prouder to be a Black man, a South African, an African and most impressively, even more committed to forgiveness.  Even though he had been wronged repeatedly by white South Africans, he was still willing to extend the olive branch.  Even though he didn't believe in all the actions that Black South Africans took, at times invoking his name to justify their deeds, he did not hold that against them.

The universe works in mysterious ways.  Last night I read these two articles on Forbes: the traits of mentally strong people and about how whether we like it or not, we are all creating a legacy, so we should think about what we are putting out in the world.  Mandela is probably the most mentally strong man of his generation, and of the last Century, and looking at his legacy, it is a paradigm to follow.

Post by Zapiro.

Though Mandela's time may have set physically in this world, his legacy will endure through the ages.  His impact will forever resonate through the world, and I am glad that I can call on it at any time to comfort, inspire and energise me to do better, to be better, to continually evolve and learn.

MHSRIP

Can't wait to watch Idris Elba as Madiba.  Though he may not look like him, I don't think that is necessary.  The acting is more important, and from what I have seen from the trailer and Behind the Scenes shows, he has captured his essence, his charismatic and powerful presence and has done the man justice.  God is good, the omnipotent one may have taken away the man, but being omniscient, has allowed us to experience him through such a beautiful living body he he he ;}

Happiness :)

This is how I feel on the inside but it doesn't always reflect on the outside.
This image will help me to remember myself, which is much needed right now!
African Print Hoodie designed by my favourite ready-to-wear proudly Zambian
label Kamanga Wear.  Photo ©  Pencil Case Studios

I needed to take headshots for an article and ended up spending the afternoon shooting in various locations in Lusaka, just so I could have some professional stock photos.  I am crap at taking pictures coz my face is so expressive I end up looking manic, deranged, psycho, confused, angry, disgusted...< insert unseemly derp face type here >.  As a child I came to accept images of me would not really capture my essence, as being passionate comes at a price.  It could be worse... Not really bothered by it, but it doesn't help when trying to express yourself through photos in my line of work and they don't really reflect you.  Perception and representation are everything in the media.  I come off as inaccessible and aloof when really I am so carefree and silly.  My seriousness is perfectly counterbalanced by a childlike lust for life.  And my happiness is directly proportionally to feeling like I am doing something meaningful with my life.  It doesn't have to be large, even something as small and ephemeral making my niece smile gives me a profound sense of worth and accomplishment.  BIMBO recently sent me this article, that reinforced this and also gave me reason to keep searching for meaning as there are added health benefits that come with it!

Silumesii, the awesomest photographer on the planet, was able to capture my spirit and soul honestly and authentically.  He did not tamper with the image.  This is me unadulterated: no photoshop, no airbrushing, just mother Africa warming my spirit and the sun shining to illuminate my soul from within.  I am an inherently happy person.  I don't actually deal well when I have negative emotions swirling around in my head upon my heart aching to let me know they exist.  My professional life has been causing such angst I'm schizophrenic.  I can feel the ugliness oozing out my of pores and to my detriment.  My see-sawing is affecting others, to my chagrin.  I want to feel like me everyday and not have to hide in the shadows until the darkness allows the light in.  My honesty, though a strength, is also a weakness.  My physical being cannot hide what is festering inside and finds a way to purge, through illness if necessary.  My face betrays me when I do not have the requisite energy to shield those around me from the side-effects of tribulation. This quote sort of encapsulates what I am facing in Zambia right now: People keep trying to thwart my efforts to be my best self through my company because it means them stepping up their game and doing their best too:

"What is apparent, however, is that many Zambians have continued to fold their arms in the false hope that a 'magical' transformation in their lives will magically occur without them necessarily putting in any effort" - Sam Phiri, from article in The Times of Zambia, 4 October 2011

In honour of this photo, I have leafed through my little scribble book and gone through my quotes collection.  I have also done this as it's about time I change the Amashiwi up top in order to reflect my current state of excitement and anticipation as I reemerge after a serious battering, which I address in the aforementioned article that inspired the photoshoot. I will post it when it is published.  As I keep telling myself: don't just sleep, start walking: don't just dream, LIVE!  

Happiness and inspirational Quotes:

"Happiness is not something ready made.  It comes from your own actions" - Dalai Lama

"To thine own self be true" - William Shakespeare from Hamlet

"I think that feeling that if one believed in any cause, then one must have the confidence, the self-certainty, to go through with that particular course of action" - Wole Soyinka, Nigerian Nobel Laureate: Literature 

"Hate is a too great a burden to bear, it injures the hater more than the hated" - Correta Scott King, Human Rights Activist

"The only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve" Albert Schweitzer, Theologian and Physician 

"Sometimes, people call my way of speaking ranting.  Why are you always ranting and screaming, they ask.  But here's the thing...the reason why I rant is because I am a voice for many women that cannot speak out to...those that influence systems of oppression.  And so I rant. And I will not stop ranting until my mission of equality for all girls is achieved" - Leymah Gbowee

"I am not on this earth by chance.  I am here for a purpose and that purpose is to grow into a mountain, not to shrink into a grain of sand" - Og Mandino

"I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself" - Rita Mae Brown

"Life isn't about finding yourself.  Life is about creating yourself" - George Bernard Shaw

"We are boxed in by the boundary condition of our thinking" - Albert Einstein

"Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything" - George Bernard Shaw

"What I know for sure: There is no greater gift you can give or recieve than to honour your true calling.  It's why you were born.  And how you become most truly alive" - Oprah Winfrey

"Life is going to give you just what you put in it.  Put your whole heart into everything you do and pray then you can wait...God helps those who help themselves" - Maya Angelou from I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door" - Milton Berle

"If you are going to do creative work that will change the world, then there is one ingredient to your success: REST.  You must take time to take care of your soul, to check in with your emotional self and make sure all is well with your inner life.  This is ESSENTIAL more than with any other type of work in my opinion.  Because your vocation requires you to pull from within, to consult the genius inside of you, to reach into the depths of your soul and share it with the world - to inspire to encourage, challenge and change.  I will say it again: If you endeavour to create, you must rest" - Jeff Goins

"The fact that you're struggling doesn't make you a burden.  It doesn't make you unlovable or undesirable or undeserving of care.  It doesn't make you too much or too sensitive or too needy.  It makes you human.  Everyone struggles.  Everyone has a difficult time coping, and at times, we all fall apart.  During these times, we aren't always easy to be around - and that's okay.  No one is easy to be around 100 percent of the time.  Yes you may sometimes do or say things that make people around you feel helpless or sad.  But these things aren't all of who you are and they certainly don't discount your worth as a human being.  The truth is that you can be struggling and still be loved.  You can be difficult and still be cared for.  You can be less than perfect and still be deserving of compassion and kindess" - Daniell Koepke

Joyeux Jour De L'Afrique Tout Le Monde! :)

Painting by an Evelyn Hone student hanging at the College's
Art Studio located at the Lusaka Showgrounds

Je suis desolée pour mon français mal.  I'm sure that is wrong too but at least I have tried - it's the thought that counts :). Happy Africa Day, Africa Freedom day, Feliz Dia de África and if you are in Kenya Happy Madaraka Day (celebrated in Kenya on June 1st to commemorate the day the country achieved internal-self rule during colonial times before attaining full independence on 12th Dec 1963) in advance.  In French today really does sound like a day to be up to no good by getting your freak on.  Or some precursor to Halloween...I digress as usual, I have to find a way to stop this nonsense! Today is all about positivity and celebration of our lovely continent, and to remind ourselves that we are not shackled by outside forces, we are the only ones standing in the way of unlocking our potential by either being to afraid to use it or by letting others continue to keep us down. 

First I would like to celebrate my country, Zambia.  2012 has been a great year for me so far, as it has finally given me the opportunities to justify me wanting to repatriate and make the continent my base, even though people have repeatedly tried to discourage me.  As much as I enjoy and have friends in the West, the motherland is my home and I am meant to be here contributing to its development and to changing perceptions about her for the better.  In these last five months I have met with some wonderful people through sport, media and technology.  And then of course, my love for the African continent never ceases, it only grows. This is a milestone year for me, having entered my fourth decade and I feel so young, and alive and for the first time in a long time like there is an exciting and fulfilling life ahead of me and that the African Dream is a reality and am already making headway and living it.  So I'm going to do a 3-4-10 to express being "Proudly Zambian. Positively African": the tagline for my soon to be formed TV and film production company (more to come about that soon :)). 

3 people and/ groups I'm crushing on:

1. The Chipolopolo and their AFCON win

TIA.  Copyright infringement does not apply here. Many street
vendors sell a lot of  illegal and unsanctioned Chipolopolo
merchandise.  This team"photo" can be purchased
at any traffic light.

ILELELELELELELELELELELELELE!  People believe that it was divine destiny that we were able to win the trophy after 3 finals appearances each about 2 decades apart and  that our triumph came almost 20 years after the 1993 tragedy that wiped out a generation of Chipolopolo in one fell swoop and gutted the country in such a way that we never thought we would recover.  The boys showed us that if you believe and you work hard to realise your dreams, they are very much achieveable.  It is up to you to reach out and grab your opportunities and our national team did  that by demonstrating how shoot to kill with copper bullets all the way to the final, where they slayed the mighty elephants of Cote D'Ivoire.  The country was brought together during this time in a way I have not seen since forever and it has infused a new wave of possibility and opportunity.  All I can say is come next year in South Africa "One Zambia. One Nation.",  "Nafuti, Nafuti" (Again and Again), "Donchi Kubeba!" (Don't tell) he he he he he.  Basically shoot to kill, take no prisoners, we want another bloodbath. Natowts! 

2. Leymah Gbowee

The evidence of my shameless love for my No 1 girl crush is splattered all over Facebook he he he.  From her rocking African fashion to her beautiful mind, she's just da bomb yo! Recently she posted two insightful things on her page: 

"I spoke at a function today and shared my views on development.  Expatriate-led NGOs and funders should understand that the best work being done to address African's problems isn't necessarily on the Internet, at NGO meetings in the capital or in New York.  A lot of the best work  is being done by Africans who stay in their communities, who don't have website, and keep their door open even without funding."

"The greatest threat to security in West Africa is unemployed youth."  

I think the second quote extends to many parts of the continent. There are many a disgruntled youth here in Zambia for sure, who were promised jobs and have not seen the fruits from the seeds that were supposed to have been planted to create a employment tree with many branches extending to all industries.

3. Her Excellency Joyce Banda

My love for her is also painted all over my profile.  She came to power under tragic and unfavourable circumstances but has not let this unsettle her.  She has been a Big Mama and has gotten right down to business and has taken to the role of President of Malawi with grace, strength, positive controversy and aplomb.  Her outspokeness on President Bashir being allowed to attend AU meetings, her lifting of the homosexual ban to her sacking the Police Chief all within a month of taking on the top job show that she is not afraid to weild her power on behalf of her people in order to secure peace within her country's borders, secure Aid from overseas and to respect the human rights of her citizens.  I heart :).

You can read more about my love for the Chipolopolo in this post written after the AFCON semis (was too caught up in the Final and by the time I'd calmed down I decided not to write about it as I just wanted to enjoy the win.  One day I shall do something about what that meant but you can see evidence on Facebook.)  For more on my girl crushes read these posts: Positively Woman and My Recent Bout of that Icky Nervous Condition....

4 inspirational African proverbs:

1. Love the Truth even though it harms you and hate the lies even if they serve you - Morroco

2. Where there is love there is no darkness - Burundi

3. It is better to weep with wise men than to laugh with fools - Ethiopia

4. Help me during the flood and I will help you during the drought - Tanzania

10 songs I'm feeling right now:

From Zed:

1. No explanation needed for this one methinks (sorry about the bum in your face, I have no control over that.  It will go away when you play the vid he he he)...

2. As I said when I posted this on Facebook, this is a track that provides the soundtrack to your moment outside in the garden nursing a nice South African red. If it is really hot, a Rosé is a refreshing substitute...

3. Life can get too serious and so can people with their music.  I like this track coz it's light and infuses global pop sounds with Zambian flavour.  Easy going and easy to dance to...

From the continent:

4. Though sometimes it's good for music to have a message and have meaning.  Here is a good example...


5.  The Mr. Endowed to my Mrs. had to be on the list of course because it is no secret I am twisted over this Oliver-o he he he he ;}...


6.  We love to dance in celebration and will find any excuse to do so here on the continent.  It's a good thing that we make good dance tracks to move to...


7.  Though my friends keep telling me I'm better than that, I have no qualms about being a gold-digger of the trophy wife persuasion and if P-Square don't care I'll spend their money plenty...


8. "All I know is Swagger" coz like the Channel I'm original and they tell me all the time I'm "young gifted and African" and you know what, you are too (even if you weren't born here at some point we all came from this beautiful land albeit thousands of years ago he he he he) :)


9. Just love this track...


10. Started with a positive track about Africa and we shall end with one too :).  Activate Afrika!

Positively Woman

Muslim Women Walking, Zanzibar August 2011

I have been happily inspired by all things pertaining to womanhood in the last two weeks and so have decided to add to my 3-4-10 series with a round-up.  Thought this picture I took of Muslim women walking along in Zanzibar was the perfect image to use with this post as it is a lovely visual metaphor for how creative and free women can be despite restrictions placed on them by society socially, politically and/ or economically.  Though required to cover themselves, they have found a way to let their personalities shine through by eschewing the traditional black, using African chitenge (or in Swahili kitenge) cloth to infuse colour into their wardrobe, while still adhering to tradition.

3 inspiration women of the moment:

1. President Joyce Banda

Her presidency is the result of the unfortunate death of Malawi's elected head of state, the late Bingu Wa Mutharika.  It has, however, enabled her to become the second female president on the African continent.  Not only that, we now have TWO female heads of state serving concurrently :).  President Johnson-Sirleaf of Liberia, the recent Nobel Laureate, congratulated President Banda with these words of advice about being a woman and a leader.  To find out more about Her Excellency, read this article: it gives great background and insight into who she is as a person and I also liked this article about her husband, who is set to be a great First Man or is it GENTLEMAN?!- he will not try to usurp power or undermine her to prove he is still the man, you know what I mean?

2.  Leymah Gbowee

I did not know much about Ms. Gbowee till she became the joint Nobel Peace Prize Laureate with her fellow countrywoman President Johnson Sirleaf and Tawakkol Karman of Lebanon. Her recent TED speech is truly inspiring, and when hearing her speaking on GPS with Fareed Zakaria helped me articulate how I felt the West should be involved in affecting change on the continent, which I blogged about here.

3.  Ashley Judd

I have always liked Ms. Judd's acting and the fact that she disappears from sight when she is not working, maintaining a mystery and a dignity that few in Hollywood can muster these days.  I am currently enjoying watching her in the new series Missing, in which she is an ex-CIA agent who lost her husband due to the job so she retires only to have her son in kidnapped in Rome a decade later.  I love the strong motherly character this brings out in her.  She chop-sueys her way through Europe, kills baddies and follows clues spurred by the love of her child and she does it in a female way, not in a "the only way I can do this is to be like a man", like so many other female characters in this genre are often played.   One of my first posts on the blog was about Salt, the movie with Angelina Jolie and I had issues with how some of the plot was geared so as not to emasculate the men as is also the norm with a strong woman protagonist, but Missing has men who are men and their manhood is not defined by women having to take a back seat in some way and Judd is able to take charge without losing her womanhood or having to be stereotypically effeminate. 

I digress.  What I wanted to say was I enjoyed her recent article in the Daily Beast.  She writes about how women are hypersexualised, how our worth is essentialised to merely our physical appearance,  how we are limited by not only the paternalistic and parochial nature of our societies, but also how we women are perpetuating this discrimination and are actually guilty of fuelling the prejudices we face daily, though we like to blame men for our lot in life.  

4 songs by beautiful African women:

1. This is my theme song right now.  If you do decide to indulge in some of the recreational activities she lists, you know how I feel about when it starts to rain - please use a raincoat :)

2.  This video just makes me happy, and the song by itself is just lovely.  I really want a kaftan now.

3.  "All I know is Swagger!"  I love it.  Watched this Channel O introduction to Camp Mulla and just loved how Miss Karun is so articulate and chilled for one so young.  I particularly liked when she said that she really doesn't like to get bogged down in defining exactly what genre Camp Mulla's music is because it is inspired, draws from and uses elements across many different sounds, cultures and experiences.  I think her philosphy should be applied to gender, race, culture, religion and life really.  Stop trying to put everyone and everything in a box and just take things and people for what they are.  We are all influenced by many things, and while stereotypes and norms help us form schema to make it through the world, they are a guide, NOT strict rules and definitions to be adhered to.  There must be room and a welcome space for deviations as they are the crux of creativity, innovation, progress and evolution.

4. Toya DeLazy's style is clearly inspired by menswear (I heart very much) and she does not subscribe to your typical bubblegum pop princess "I'm cute and pretty" or the "hey look I'm sexy and edgy and different (but really still a slave to the machine)" clubs, but doesn't come off like she is trying to hide her womanhood or sexuality either.  I love that she has her own style and is making pop music without needing to be half-naked, gyrating and/ or humping the floor to get our attention and is still singing with sense, depth and meaning to  her lyrics.  She knows she has her own brand of swag and is not afraid to show it.

10 woman/ female related things that put a smile on my face (in no particular order):

1.  African Voices with John Meletse

If you are wondering why I have started off with a man, my answer to you is being gay falls in to the female category when put in the gender dichtomy paradigm of male/ female, masculine/ feminine and therefore into sister dichotomies: strong/ weak, ruler/ subordinate, defender/ defenceless etc. And disabled people in the world fall into the same category too.  He states he very much identifies more with women in society than men so I rest my case. You can watch the episode of African Voices with John here.

2. Rwanda's Parliament has a 55% female majority, the first in the world :)

Not only is Parliament mostly female, it is quite youthful and connected through social media.  Way to go Rwanda for leading the way!  I came across these lovely nuggets of trivia while enjoying an article laced with inspirational quotes from President Kagame about how we Africans need to start being agents of change on the continent, rather than limiting ourselves to being passive receptors of whatever fate is bestowed on us from outsiders. We need to stop talking and start doing because "people don't eat debates, they eat food". Love it!

3. Chimamanda Adichie

Though she has irked me in the past with some of her views, she is a badass.  Her TED talk on the dangers of the single story has really helped me process and navigate through the issues of the day in the media.

4. Christina Hendricks aka Joan in Mad Men

Saw a picture of her as Joan on Mad Men's Facebook page and the read the comments from BOTH men and women praising and enjoying her voluptuous figure without hypersexualising her undulating lady lumps and humps or hateration. This kind of positivity helps to promote healthy and diverse body images in the media and in turn in society . It reminds me of an interview I watched of hers where she responded "You've gotta eat!" when she was asked how she maintains her lovely figure. Yay for curves and being healthy!

5.  Viola Davis rocking her TWA

For y'all that don't know, TWA means teeny weenie afro.  It's so sad that she has not been rocking her natural hair for fear of discrimination on the job and I'm glad that she showed how beautiful she can be without straight hair and/ or a wig at the Oscars.  I do not have a problem with Black women rocking whatever texture hair or wearing their own versus bought hair.  What I'm all about is why.  If you are shunning your natural hair because of some sort of societal pressure or an unchecked self hate then I have a problem.  I also have issues with people thinking they are better than someone else because they have relaxed or weaved hair or when they rock dreads or a fro.

6. Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, Nigerian Finance Minister, former World Bank managing director and World Bank head hopeful

Yesterday it was confirmed that Obama's choice, Kim Yong Jim, will be the new head of the World Bank :( despite support from not only many African nations but from around the world.  She is proof that women and Africans hold powerful positions and are serious contenders on the global stage.

7. Inspirational film

Listen to and be inspired by Tunisian Nadia El Fani talking about making a a controversial film that includes a scene with a restaurant serving food during Ramadan and about how Muslims need to change their own perceptions of what they are capable of and what human rights they are worthy of.  She has made this film because she is a patriotic Tunisian and not to be a rabble-rouser for no apparent reason. I also just came across the fact that Luc Besson made a film about Aung San Suu Kyi, the Burmese activist who has been under house arrest for years and recently made history by being elected to Parliament.  It's called The Lady and stars Michelle Yeoh.

8. Mark Grist's spoken word piece on loving women who read

Thank God for this, I always suspected there were more men out there with such sentiments.



9.  Inspirational quotes

As always, Maya Angelou, the eternal tall drink of refreshing water has a new quote ready for me to discover and love:

"I would like to be known as an intelligent woman, a courageous woman, a loving woman, a woman who teaches by being."

"The right man will love all the things about you that the wrong man was intimidated by." Whoever said that is absolutely right :)

10. Titica, the transsexual singer in Angola

Included for the same reasons as John Meletse.  A man taking on a female persona in a Catholic country.  Courage is always inspiring :).  You can read about Titica here. 

MUNTU: Zed Series - Towani Clarke, Kutowa Designs and Kuthuta Yoga

This interview was conducted in July 2011.  I am ashamed it has taken me this long to post.  Luckily the information is timeless in its inspiration. Enjoy!

Towani Clarke, July 2011 wearing her own skirt design and bangles from Kutowa

Nationality/ies:  Mother: Zambian, Father: English

Age:  As young as I look
Countries you have lived and studied in: Zambia, South Africa
African countries you have visited: Malawi, Zimbabwe, Namibia, Tanzania, Mozambique, Madagascar, Mauritius, Nigeria
Education: BSc Agricultural Science University of Zambia, UNZA, MBA University of Cape Town, UCT
Profession(s): Fashion Designer and Yoga Instructor
Personal Interests: Fashion, Yoga, SGI Buddhism, Reading, Swimming
Social Media platforms (Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Blog, Website): Facebook: Kutowa Designs page, KuthutaYoga group

10 Questions

Muntu means person in the tongue of Mwana Ba Afrika’s mothers before her.  As an acronym it stands for: 

I picked these words to build off of the notion of Ubuntu.

Marvellous

Understated

Natural

Together

United

Describe yourself in 3 words, list 4 things you that make you happy and write a sentence that describes Africa in 10 words.

Kutowa Designs: Tipenda Pamodzi Collection 2011 

3: Sassy, creative, afro-chick.

4: Seeing a clear blue sky and the sun when I wake up in the morning. Buddhist chanting meditation.  Curling up on the couch with a cup of tea and a good book.  Hugs from my kids.

10: Land of sun, merry people, whatever the tough circumstances. Tenacious.

Recommend 3 websites, blogs and/ or books, 4 movies and/ or series and 10 songs and/ or music videos.

3:  Style.com, yogajournal.com, sgi.org

4: Vampire Diaries.

I am more of a book worm so I will recommend 3 books here:

Women who run with the wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes

This is a book that is all about claiming the power of womanhood and relating how a woman in her natural state is instinctive, intuitive and strong.  It talks about knowing who you are and being in love with the person you find. If you are not ashamed of what you find, you will not want to hide who that is. A quote that encapsulates the essence of the book is: “It’s not by accident that the pristine wilderness of our planet disappears as the understanding of our own inner wild nature fades.”

You can hear you life by Louise Hay

Take any basic health problem and it will tell you the probable cause.  It gives you the underlying mental outlook to every illness and helps you to see how to change yourself mentally to help you heal physically.

Eastern Body, Western Mind by Anodea Judith

The Chakra system is now making sense with my  yoga and it  has also helped with my understanding of psychology and Buddhism.

Purple Hibiscus by  Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Just a beautiful piece of fiction and the fact that it is written by an African woman makes it even better.

Africa Child by Camara Lay

It talks about a way of life before colonialism, before our beliefs were disposed of by Christian ones.   The book is so powerfully beautiful, especially the way Lay talks about  traditional animist beliefs through his father, a blacksmith who has a relationship with a snake and his mother’s totem, the crocodile, which signifies that she is the only woman who can be assured safety when drawing water from the river. It opened a whole new way to look at being for me,  and illuminated an Africaness that has been lost which then highlighted how we have forgotten our roots unlike the Indians and the Chinese.  Afrinassaince, one of my Kutowa lines is inspired by this forgotteness as a way of reviving tradition by coupling it with the modernity that comes with being part of a global consciousness.  Other people are starting to research on our traditions too but we still need to reclaim them. Our culture is oral and dying with the old. This book echoes how we need to write things down.

10: Okay, so I recommended a few more books so to keep with your structure I’ll only suggest 8 songs.

1.     1. Lazy Day -  Bruno Mars

2.   2. By Your Side - Sade
It can be sung to a friend, a child, or by a child to a mother, a sister...Any way you look at it the lyrics still apply. It reminds me of my girlfriends, especially Coretta, because to me it is all about sisterhood as women, standing by each other.

3.   3. Desert Rose - Sting
I love its mystical and spiritual sound – it moves you into another zone, it makes you feel like you floating in the desert with a cute Arab dude.

4.   4. Kiss From a Rose - Seal

5.   5. Breaking Down - Randy Crawford
It’s about a woman about to have a breakdown and about a man coming to save the day. It cracks me up!  It’s silly how we are always looking for solutions outside ourselves as women with that knight in shining armour. Sometimes we just have to get on with our lives and stop waiting.

6.   6. Jailer- Asa

7.   7. Frozen- Madonna
This song has a deep psychology:  if you are not open to yourself and your feelings you can shut down and be frozen and miss out on a lot of joys in life.

8.   8. Set Fire to the Rain - Adele

What have you or do you contribute to Zambia’s development economically, politically and or socially?

Kutowa Designs: Tipenda Pamodzi Collection 2011

In the previous book of my life I worked in the agricultural sector working and managing a farm.

Economically, I am now providing employment through Kutowa for the tailors I use and the people who work on the dresses, the fabric I buy and the people who make the jewellery. 

Socially I feel my contribution is facilitating pride through wearing something that is African, that is Zambian.  Usually to impress we say our clothes were purchased overseas, now it can be about identifying with Zambia: it’s African, it’s chitenge (African print) but it’s chic, it’s hot and most importantly it’s me.  I am helping people identify with their culture in a modern and new way and not thinking about traditional wear as something that their aunt would wear at a kitchen party (bridal shower).

Then with yoga I am contributing to helping people to be more aware of the importance of looking after themselves physically, mentally and spiritually.  A lot of Zambian women walk tensely, hunched up in the shoulders.  The disconnect between the body and the mind is causing them to be exhausted at the end of the day.  So I am helping them get fit: they are standing and sitting straighter, and are more connected to their bodies and emotions.

What do you think is special about being an African woman?

For me it’s strength, because as an African woman you have to do so much all at once, even as a child.  As the first born in my family, I looked after myself and because my mother was very busy, I was in charge of the younger ones: brothers, sisters, cousins, nieces, nephews. You are already nurturing, bathing, cooking and feeding. You learn to multitask, to be responsible and how to work together with other women as a team.  This is why Zed women and African women excel as these are management skills - learning to juggle things and work with people is something we have been doing since we were kids.  I use more of my skills from childhood than from my degrees!  This is also why unfortunately our men can’t function, even in the workplace, without female help.

The afro – it’s unique and when I am having a bad hair day I can wear a chiduku (head scarf) and still look absolutely glamorous without combing my hair.  You look regal. Natural hair is cool too!

What do we as African women need to improve and how?

Stop trying to do everything on your own. Help other people take responsibility as it will help them grow.  It’s not a uniquely African problem but heightened in Africa with the boy child, with the brother, with your husband. When is another woman running after another woman unless she is an elder?  It’s high time we start sharing the responsibility with the men in the house so we can both have time to relax.  It is sad that in liberation we have work and housework and are double burdened.  It’s not too late for those who are open-minded to start talking and start with our children, especially with the boys, as it will help develop their character, help them to take care of themselves and be responsible people.

We need to accept our womaness and  our Africanness are both associated with a lot of negativities and weakness. Every coin has two sides. To be evolved is to start to see the full picture so that we understand how to change these perceptions.

What do you think is special about the African man?

He’s good looking, come on! Look at Seal: mmmm damn, he’s a good looking brother, he’s a good looking brother!  They can be good and loving fathers.

What does the African man need to improve and how?

Kutowa Designs: Tipenda Pamodzi Collection 2011 

Support your women and show your love. We know you feel it but demonstrate more often. It doesn’t mean you’re not a man and that you will be taken advantage of. A worrying trend towards absentee fathers due to people having children young and breaking up or not being in the same country is sweeping Zambia and the continent. These men are not interested in their children and make no effort to see and be with them because the concentration is currently on the man being the provider.   It’s not just about providing money, it’s about providing emotionally and physically too. But even that support is being denied to single mothers even when the man has money. It could be an epidemic soon if steps are not taken to halt this trend.

What role do the African Diaspora and the global community have to play in the continent’s development and identity?

There is huge potential because as global as we are, not everyone is going to travel to Africa. It’s still not the destination continent, it’s Europe or North America or Asia.  Maybe they’ll come to Kenya or South.  The Diaspora need to be ambassadors, they can change views about the continent and the global community need to get to know Africans out there and come visit. Africans also need to stop forgetting themselves through assimilation, though people are starting to appreciate their Africaness first.

We need the Diaspora to keep giving back and to do more of it, whether it’s for your nephew’s school fees or your mother’s medicine as we don’t have a Social Security net.  The recent wave and trend is people in the Diaspora investing in Africa by buying property and acquiring shares in businesses. Foreign investment through the Diaspora is a way forward. Why are we always looking outside for solutions instead of within?

People coming back after getting the exposure they need, and using the wealth of experience and money from the opportunities they had on the continent is happening more and more.  They are infusing a different ethos of doing things, seeing the gaps in the market and plugging them.  That’s the way foreigners have been picking up the opportunities in the past.

Are you satisfied with the way Zambia and Africa are portrayed in the media to the world?  Explain your reasoning.  

Kutowa Designs: Tipenda Pamodzi Collection 2011

Of course not!   This is old hash but it’s the nature of news - which is an extension of predominant human nature - to focus on the bad and negative. So long as that is prevalent, this will be the case. As human beings we need to reflect on this and even more so as Africans.  When people come and visit they cannot understand why things are better from what they have seen in the media.  The problem with western ideology is the overly simplified Judeo-Christian view like former President Bush had where you are either with us, or against us. That dichotomy, good/ bad, rich/ poor, black/ white causes such confusion. What about Obama and Tiger Woods? How do they fit into society when you create such limited categories? 

Here in Africa we are more flexible and not so obsessed with trying to pigeonhole people.  Yes, we have a lot of poverty and sickness but there is a whole lot more to the situation. We need to challenge these world views to say you know what, it’s not just black and white: there is the rainbow and every combination of each of its colours.  And that’s what I love about Africa – we are a lot about colour from the brightness of the sun, the dryness of the dry season and desert, the green of the emerald season. We fluctuate. We are brightness and contradiction - one colour against another and contrast exists.  In the either/ or situation you just see one side and you don’t open your eyes to all the variation.  We also need to see those variations in certain areas as we also are prone to seeing ourselves the way the West does in critical areas.  The key is how do we see ourselves as Africans? We are still recovering – hair, skin colour, beliefs, and spirituality - we still feel inferior. We have allowed some of this brainwashing. We need to see the full picture in our media as well. The good, as well as the bad. All the facets of Africa need to be shown for the true picture to be seen.

3 Places and/ or Things That Make Zambia Special:

4 Experiences Towani has Learnt From

For more videos go to my YouTube Channel and  you can find more MUNTU interviews on the blog.