Overcoming Fear to Lead and Grow

Fear. It’s one of those emotions that will always rear its ugly head, and to be fair it can be a paradoxically encouraging impetus.  It’s fight or flight. It’s an indication of a deep insecurity or about really caring about what you are doing.  The important thing is to identify whether what you feeling is a positive or negative force, that the consequences of acting upon or ignoring the fear will move you forward, hold you back or worse destroy what you have built.

This year I have come to realise that I have been fighting mostly external fears trying to exert pressure and influence.  This has affected how long it has taken to get to this point and has quite frankly razed a lot of what I accomplished in the last 2 years with my first documentary e18hteam, affected both my professional and personal relationships, battered my self-esteem and has made me question everything.  The good thing is that going through the process has allowed me to identify a few things which really crystallised after I went to the BongoHive Talk Leading the Creative Spirit.

The talk moderated by Rachel Adams, founder of Narachi Leadership, and featuring  leadership insight from  Joseph Hundah, CEO of Econet Media, made me admit to some of the pitfalls I have succumbed to as I fought to retain my voice, values, principles and integrity.  I have excused some of them when really I could have done better to avoid them. The experience, advice, lessons learnt and the leadership qualities, mechanisms and process imparted with the theory behind to further illuminate the ideas being shared, really helped reinforce things I have already been mindful of and am looking to and/or continue to improve. They also reinforced my belief that I do have something to offer, and this multimedia experiment reimaging African storytelling is my calling. I can be at the helm of the ship ZeDream Team and I are navigating through the stormy seas and we will find our treasure. And unlike pirates we’ll share with you because we care!

These are the takeaways from this year of failure and perseverance:

DON’T LET OTHER PEOPLE’S FEAR HOLD YOU BACK

Don’t let other people’s fear thwart you.  Many will tell you they know what you should do, give you unsolicited advice, try to sabotage your efforts, will poo poo  your ideas and what you are doing to.  They will do this hold you back, keep you under their thumb as they are scared it may affect what they are doing, that they are not needed or that they will be left behind and cast aside. Worse is some people may not realise their words and actions towards you are underhanded in this way.  Do not let the fear of not adhering to their views and following their plans force you into submission if that is not the path you should be taking. The truth is  there is no tried and true way to make the transition from success to the next thing. Especially when its your first creative project to your sophomore offering.  Any success that then leads to the next thing is difficult to navigate.  I am not trying to replicate e18hteam with A.C.E. What I am trying to do is move forward with the momentum the documentary created and challenging myself by believing I can do more and be more.  Most importantly the project is a response to my interactions, experiences and the inspiration the ZeDream Team have given me long before we assembled.  Each of them has great faith in my abilities and what I have already accomplished and have the potential to achieve.  Each of them has given me great counsel.  Each of them has been non-judgmental and accepting of our differences.  Each of them has connected with me on profound  and multiple levels.

I AM A LEADER

Still accepting this fact. Even an
empowering photoshoot with Mafashio
for my 35th birthday this year
hasn't quite had this fact sink in.
Photo Credit: Fortress Media

I know this seems rather silly to state but I have had a hard time coming to terms with that fact.  When I do the things I do, create the things I create, become passionate about my passions, it always starts from an internal catalyst. Once I have worked through the feeling or inkling to give shape and form to the idea, I then work backwards using my education and experience in Communication to figure out if what I am thinking is viable and how to go about manifesting it in the right place and targeting the right audience.  A.C.E. is a  personal response to those who follow me on social media and those whom I have met on the journey e18hteam took me around Zambia and the world. It is a visceral reaction to the events that have unfolded in my country and the repercussions. It is an active way of processing the world around me, and sharing with other in order for us to grow together.  I may not necessarily have sought to become a leader, but in doing this I am and I need to own it.  I need to commit fully to what that entails.  I need to believe that I can and am already. My purpose is to create environments and content for people to be able to share, freely express their goals and fears and for us to work together to find solutions and move forward.  I am leading by starting conversations so that you can add your voice.  I need to be A.C.E. so we can be A.C.E together.

LEADERSHIP IS NOT STATIC BUT FLUID. WE ARE ALWAYS LEARNING, GROWING, EVOLVING

Leadership is a journey made up of many journeys, not a finite destination.  There are highlights, stops and milestones along the way, as well as multiple paths to be taken, but it is a never ending process.  The moment you are stagnant and stop, that is the moment you stop leading.  If you never realise that you are stuck, you can have a serious detrimental effect on the people around you who look to you for direction, guidance, support and purpose.  Either you will have a revolt on your hands or if you are extremely charismatic, you will lead people who will follow you blindly into the depths from whence you cannot escape. It is important to constantly check in with yourself and those around you, provide a safe space to be able to get feedback, to brainstorm and troubleshoot both for yourself to reflect and for others to engage you.

I am still in the process of learning how to lead effectively and consistently.  This mad scientist luckily has guinea pigs who don’t seem to be that affected by the fact that things have fallen apart far worse than they did for Okonkwo.  Luckily unlike the protagonist in Chinua Achebe’s famous tome, I have not let the universe continue to conspire against me, but have found a way to turn things around meteorically.  Things are getting back on track smoothly. I have been inspired by the challenges to overcome, not to fold and admit defeat.  Leadership is a commitment – if you take up the mantle, you’ve got to do the work to deserve the elevated seat bestowed upon you.  You have to use your voice wisely as it will be amplified. You must use your influence strategically and not succumb to the way of the despot, becoming drunk with power. You need to respect your potency and those who acknowledge and respond accordingly. For a while I was closed off, seriously and artificially limiting my interaction with the world out of fear of things getting so bad that I would never regain control or worse, that I would have irreparably lost the relationships and access to resources that are important to my well-being and growth as a storyteller.  If all that turned out to be true, A.C.E would be buried under all of that. I would have to abort before the project could be given life.  Luckily things were not as desperate as they seemed once perspective was found.

ACCEPT YOU WILL BE VULNERABLE, YOU WILL MAKE MISTAKES AND YOU WILL BE SCARED.

I have never been afraid of my vulnerability and revel in my humanity.  Some of my biggest mistakes have led to the biggest opportunities, and the fears I have felt have spurred me on to create, succeed, to chart new paths and venture out and experience the best (and the worst) of life. However, people like their leaders to be invincible, to lay down the law, to sniff out weakness and to snuff it out.  Zambians and Africans in particular have grown up with with that rigid form of leadership whether it is at home with their parents, or their leaders deciding that they will remain in a position of power from beyond the grave. Expressing and owning your vulnerabilities is not always welcome as people aren’t used to it and are afraid of what it means: sharing that your are struggling and the process of finding your way back to the surface when you are drowning. Admitting that you don’t know something. Saying that your feelings are hurt and that actions towards you have had a negative effect. These are considered hammering nails into your coffin. I  however have no desire to be impervious and unflappable or to seem so.  It is ultimately not a productive way to go about life.  You end up spending time upholding the illusion of your power rather than exercising the power you actually have despite your deficiencies.

Though I am not scared about my second project and the inevitable comparison that will follow, I was scared of not forgiving myself for not handling the situations, feelings and people who have come my way in the last 2 years better.  As everything starts within myself, I knew this would have a negative effect on how A.C.E. took shape.  My fears were realised, but they have also taught me that these things happen.  Things do go spectacularly wrong.  I always say you can’t please everyone, but I really learnt what that meant recently.  I am finally finding peace with where I am from the lessons learnt. I am rekindling my passions, become comfortable once more with uncertainty and I’m ready to lead a sojourn into the unknown.  I can’t wait to find out what we will find through A.C.E. together!

For more information about BongoHive, Lusaka’s Innovation and Technology Hub and the talks and programs they offer, visit their website and like them on Facebook.

A.C.E. will officially be launching early October so keep checking in for posts and follow our journey on Instagram.

Want to chat more about this and anything else on the blog, about A.C.E. or anything else you can find me on Twitter.

For more about the A.C.E. Project, follow the blog, where this article was originally posted, and follow ZeDream Team on Instagram.

Leadership Poker: Trumping with A.C.E.

Chipolopolo Fans a a game. They featured in establishing scenes about the
importance of football to Zambia in my documentary e18hteam (eighteam)

Over the past couple of months, I have had a series of conversations and experiences at events that have convinced me even more that A.C.E. is the right way to professionally deal with what is going on around me and in the world today, in my own small way.

The first major instance was a Twitter conversation I had with the talented and insightful Zambian songbird Chembo about representation at the first TEDx Eucalyptus Road in Lusaka. Her contention with the organisation of the event by Bloom Management was that there were non-black faces being streamed from abroad as part of the experience.  I contested that the important thing was that there was a high representation of women, particularly in the on-site break out sessions to discuss the themes, which is still unusual for Zambian events.  We agreed to disagree, as she feels strongly that black people/ Zambians should speak to their own people.  I agree to some extent, foreign and mostly non-black faces and organisations are given  far too much freedom to come and tell us how to be ourselves without consultation or understanding of who we are, what we need and what we need to do to get to where we want to go.  I feel however, that sometimes issues like Black Lives Matter, an issue borne from a minority status and amplified worldwide due to the fact that Western Media dominates global media, can obscure reality. We also are prone to jump on the cause bandwagon, designing events round things like HeForShe to show we do care about women, but not to actually really do the work to give women and girls their rightful chance to find their place in society.

We here in Zambia are in the majority, identifying as Black.  When you go to events and hear speakers, the majority of them are usually black/ Zambian.  The problem is they are almost always all men, and a lot of the time its the same recycled speakers unless it is dubbed a women’s event and even then there may not be a female majority. I think it is important to focus on what is salient here, not to bring issues from other places and erroneously conflate them out of solidarity, or issues brought from experiences elsewhere. I do think it is important for young Zambian women to see people who look like them doing more than myopic destiny expected of us. And I do believe both men and women need to give the female perspective chance and also realise sometimes it’s not about gender but about knowledge. Same with race. Does it matter the delivery vessel if the truth is being spoken?! I attended the TEDx event and had a transcendental experience in the breakout session with CEO of COMESA‘s business council Sandra Uwera, who I need to follow up with about encouraging Africans to buy local and products made on the continent and how this ties to how we see ourselves. I enjoyed that fact that she was in a powerful position and from her questions and comments it was clear she was qualified for her job and was the right choice to moderate. If that had not been the case however, I would have written about how disappointed I was. She made me proud to be an African Woman in the world today trying to move things forward.  She is #goals!

Earlier this month, I organised at Modzi Arts thanks to Founder Julia Kaseka’s openess to the idea of showing my documentary e18hteam, with a discussion afterwards about Zambian identity, the future of youth in the country, and the importance of art in public discourse.  The day of, Zesco did not disappoint and was annoyingly and stereotypically inconveniencing, deciding to loadshed that area for the first time in Modzi Art history.  Though we didn’t show film, Samba Yonga and Tangu Msimiko were great panelists with insightful contributions and Julia was an awesome moderator.  During the talk, an audience member asked if I had chosen the panel to be all female on purpose. I have had many conversations about how to ensure better representation and I am not for putting a woman on the panel just to have one. I believe in equality and equity.  If you select the requisite people to speak on the right things I think it will all balance out. If there are no qualified women, don’t force the issue and end up fulfilling another stereotype that women are given opportunities by affirmative action without qualification.  However, I do believe at this time, if you have the choice with equally qualified people, I think one should tend to favour the ladies over the gentlemen, till diverse panels are the norm. In the case of my event, I picked Samba because her company Ku-Atenga Media is one of the reasons my documentary has been well recieved and successful and she knows the film and its journey inside out. I chose Tangu because she reached out to me about mentorship and is interested in creating discourse between creatives as well as in the mechanics of film distribution. We also happened to represent young Zambia being in our 20s and 30s.  Giving women a platform to speak was a coincidental bonus.

Modzi was able to screen the film the next day and I spoke with the audience after and the conversation focused on the fact that we as Zambians need to realise that the Chipolopolo’s story reflects who we are as a people. I have had interactions with young Zambians during and after the elections where they have expressed fear that the legacy of the Freedom Fighters and the current administration will be lack of agency for those of us who follow them.  That they have no place in the country, and that efforts to belong are futile.  I reminded the audience that just like the Zambian National Football Team, we have bounced back from other tragedies such as the deaths of two of our Presidents in the last 10 years, by coming together and persevering peacefully.  I also noted that despite being blindsided continuously with things like loadshedding descending upon us without warning repeatedly ad infinitum, ad nauseum, we continue to innovate and find ways to carry on and succeed.  We did not give in after the day before’s debacle, we rescheduled and made time to have the event properly.  In our lives, we know we have it inside us to surmount the challenges thrown at us and eventually find the strength to keep moving.  Unbeknownst to me, there was a young, Caucasian American lady moved by my impassioned oratory.  She took the opportunity to express how my words gave her hope for the USA, as she wrapped her head round Donald Trump being President-Elect at the edict of her people. She was elevated to tears (I don’t believe crying is a reduction by default but can also be a expression of your strength to being open to expressing vulnerability unabashedly) as she spoke and apologised.  I told her there was nothing to be contrite about, as we are all living through these trying times and it is important to reach out to one another however we can, wherever we are.  I first went to America after September 11th and remember how people rallied together and was present during the first memorial commemorating the tragedy.  I have no doubt America will recognise its greatness and make lemonade out of this this current batch of lemons and slay like Beyonce.

This brings me back to my original sentiments that I expressed to Chembo.  You can learn and be inspired by anyone.  I think opportunities globally should be given to qualified people of all races, colours, creeds, gender, sexual orientation and identities, because as humans, our strength is in our diversity and we all have something to offer.  I think it is important to distinguish between local and global issues surrounding misrepresentation and the flat out blocking of certain perspectives and voices so we intervene and rig for the good accordingly, not to just jump on some cause’s bandwagon for the wrong reasons. Sometimes we need to give voice to those that irk, confuse or have differing opinions or appearance, so long as the intent is to not to promote hate, intolerance and to divide to rule and profit selfishly.  Even if the outcome is agreeing to disagree, I think there is much to learn from our differences and solutions to the worlds problems will continue to come from finding common ground. Tonight my film is showing at the Southern African Institute in Basel and has been given the honour of being the Opening Night screening to officially start the Zambia in Motion Festival.  The aim of the festival is to bring the curated history to life through indigenous voices, to a Swiss audience.  The fact that a tiny country a quarter of the world away is preserving our history and is reaching out to better understand who we are is beautiful.  It is the essence of what A.C.E. is all about: Cultural exchange. Building bridges. Learning from history. Making new paths. Learning and growing together.

Leading is not only about taking care of your own, but its also about reaching out to the other side to gain understanding, to lend a helping hand and above all letting love guide us to conquer all.  We need more of this in the world right now. How are you going to spread the feels and bring people together? What are you going to do to bring about understanding, empowerment and opportunity?

For inspiration, watch e18hteam on video on demand anytime, anywhere online here.

For more on the A.C.E project, bookmark the blog, where this article first appeared, and follow it and ZeDream Team on Instagram.

Introducing ZeDream Team

L-R Tukiya (Mafashio), Chosa,
Sekayi (Mafashio), Leelee
Me (Ngosa)
Photo Credit: Fortress Media
Styling: Mafashio

Though I posted last week that I have been failing with aplomb, I have gotten a few things right.  One such thing is the creation of the ZeDream Team.  Serendipity may have brought each of these amazing people into my life, but their coming together for A.C.E. was by complete design.  They were my first choice, and I am so grateful that they signed up to create with this mad scientist and are equally invested in my multimedia experiment.

Some pick people to work with whom they know can’t challenge them, can’t do what they do, and would never usurp power and commandeer their operation. They want to stand out, be worshiped, and have no intent on truly collaborating and working together to create something that can only be realised because of amalgam of individuals brought together for the common cause.  I have no desire to be the despot. I want to collaborate.  This means bringing people in with different skill sets so that we can all enhance each other’s strengths and compensate for each other’s weaknesses. I want to learn and grow through this process and the only way to do that is to surround myself with people who can magnify the areas I need to work on and amplify my positive traits.  I in turn hope to be able to do the same.

Leadership is not necessarily about being the best, or about dictating to the people you are in charge of.  Leadership to me is understanding group dynamics and ensuring that everyone is able to put their best self forward.  To know how to create magic with the ingredients each person has to put in the pot.  To know how to assign the right tasks to the right person.  To know when to rally the troops and when to pull back.  To know when to micromanage and when to leave people to autonomously go about their business. Sometimes it means stepping back and letting others lead.

Chosa, Puthumile and the Ladies of Mafashio (Sekayi and Tukiya) all have something in common with me: a desire to create, to push the envelope, to question, and to make our world better a better place with content that engages, informs, entertains and explores new paths.  More importantly they are crazy , weird and mysterious in their own unique ways.  They have all pleasantly surprised me in some shape or form over the last couple of years.  They have made me think about things from different perspectives.  They have challenged my ideas and been catalysts to shifts in the way I do things, in the way I see myself and what I have to offer the world.  They are the reason A.C.E. exists.  I wanted to find a way to bottle all that they have to give and create, to then uncork it in an explosion of creative content across media.

I know that though things are uncertain, and the journey we are taking is only just starting to map itself out, that I can count on these things from each of them:

Chosa will always keep a cool head, and if he loses his temper it means that things are really bad and we need to get ourselves together.  That I will always have a visual eye that gets what is needed to capture A.C.E. points of view in stills and/or video in innovative and singular ways.  And when we are editing, we will sink into our easy dance until some sort of rendering, colour correcting or other irritating process will cause me to throw a tantrum as impatience gets the better of me, he will distract me till it is done.

Puthumile will bring all the ideas the team has together and distill them into a beautiful river of words that will touch our souls.  That she will step in when I cannot get to something, and that she will always be there for me to vent, parse ideas, and to motivate me to keep at it when I am thwarted by my mind, or by things out of my control.  She will remind me to keep my eye on the prize and see a new way ahead when I cannot.  All the while pretending to be the Thing, made of rock. I won’t tell that she is really the Pillsbury Boy, all cookie dough, love, and rainbows.

The ladies of Mafashio come as a pair but if their individual personalities and talents did not fit into A.C.E. I would have only asked the one that contributed positively to the dynamic. Luckily I didn’t have to because their brand is a 2 for 1 special.  I always say that once you are Fundafunda-ed you can’t go back.  They are part of a creative familial dynasty and if you ever have the privilege of encountering any of their cousins, be prepared for your life to change. These girls bring a youthful effervescence that counters the over 30 jaded outlook that the rest of us have. They also have a refreshing positivity; a lust for life and new experiences that spurs me on.  They have a window into a world that is beyond me, and they are nice enough to bring me into it.

So long as Chosa, Puthumile and I are not left to our own devices, A.C.E. things happen. When we three meet, things descend swiftly into the silly, the debaucherous and the unfocused as our creative juices flow. We end up having conjured something we have absolutely no means to achieve and depression sets in.  Luckily there is usually food to make us feel better.

Soon we shall be officially launching with a taste of ZeDream Team’s talent and starting production on our first mini project.  I will continue to document the A.C.E. journey on the blog at least once weekly so keep checking in to walk along side us as we re-imagine African storytelling.  For a more visual experience follow us on Instagram. If you would like to chat about the project or just to get to know me better, please start a conversation on Twitter.

For more on the A.C.E. Project, bookmark the blog, where this article first appeared, and follow it and the ZeDream Team on Instagram.

Failing is A.C.E.

This photo was taken during our first A.C.E. shoot in 2016
Photo Credit: Fortress Media Styling: Mafashio

I have been failing. Spectacularly. All throughout 2016. And I have been winning. Why? Because failure is the route to success. If you are truly creative and or/ entrepreneurial, you live in the certainty of stumbling, mumble fumbling and falling.  A thick skin is required to keep picking yourself up, to keep, and carry on.  In Zambia , it is the norm to pretend like everything is okay, as admitting fault, inadequacy or challenges is seen as weakness, not as an opportunity to innovate, learn and grow. The fear of losing out or giving up power is so ingrained, it stops people from actually realising their dreams because they are spending so much time looking over their shoulder.

Moving on to your sophomore project is always hard.  My first production was a documentary about the Zambian National Football Team aka the Chipolopolo (Copper Bullets) called e18hteam (eighteam).  Last year it enjoyed much success after it premiered in October 2014.  From the unprecedented Zambeef sponsorship of the archival footage rights, to travelling around Zambia and film festivals around the world, winning awards in Indonesia, Spain, the USA, Nigeria and Peru, as well as screening in Cannes, I should be on floating in the clouds, basking in the rays of achievement. That is past glory though and cannot and should not sustain me.  The film continues to go to film festivals and is now used as a tool for motivational talks to motivate, inspire and/ or for cultural exchange, but it is time for a new challenge.

An artist never stops creating and the best place to start is inspiration from the depths of one’s soul.  That is where the African Cultural Exchange project, aka the ACE project, is borne from: a frustration so visceral, the only way to assuage it and turn that negative energy into the positive, is to work through it with my art.  It has taken much to get to this point and I haven’t really started.

Luckily I have 4 amazing people to work with here in Lusaka: 3 Zambians and 1 Zimbabwean. I have dubbed them ZeDream Team, because in another life I was named Big Pun, and they  were my first choice of crazy talent with beautiful spirits to work with. This blog will chronicle the entire process of this multimedia experiment aiming to re-imagine African storytelling, through creativity in all its forms, as I journey with this team down the rabbit hole.

What I have learnt so far, as I have embarked on this sojourn into the unknown, is that I still have much to learn, and that is okay because I believe life is about growth.  Leadership in this new capacity is much harder than I thought.  Collaborating and expressing what is going on in my head to get everyone up to speed is overwhelming, because my brain is too quick and sees everything at the same time perfectly laid out and connected in my head space.  It all makes sense to me, but parsing that out into the world in a way that makes sense is incredibly challenging. Focusing on what I want the project to address first has also taken a while to identify. But we have persevered and things are coming together.

I am known as the Queen of Passion and thankfully this Ndhlovukhazi Storyteller has enough fuel in the tank to keep regenerating, adapting, and is not afraid to change her mind. I am reveling in the uncertainty and in the crazy because beauty is starting to shine through. I just have to trust the process.  Keep tweaking. Keep researching.  Keep bandying ideas around. Staying open and allowing myself to be mentored by the team and people in my life whom I love and trust, while looking for new sources of knowledge and inspiration.

So as we count down to the official launch of the ACE project, to be announced on the blog in due time, please get to know ZeDream team through our Instagram account

In the meantime I will continue to fail spectacularly in style because I know it will all come together in the end.

Here’s to failing spectacularly to success.

For more on the A.C.E. project, bookmark the blog, where this post first appeared, and follow its progress and the ZeDream Team on Instagram.

e18hteam at the Lusaka International Film and Music Festival

Barefeet Theatre Film Night at 2015 Festival hosted at
FreshView Cinemas Manda Hill.

Fresh off e18hteam's win at SVAFF, it is coming back to Lusaka! If you have missed it now is your chance.


The last time it showed was at Barefeet Theatre's Film Night. The film was so highly anticipated, it was over subscribed in the end and kids sat on the floor to accommodate the demand.  I love how much support we are getting from the capital city.  Thank you for your support

Get your tickets within the next week, if you haven't gotten to see it on the big screen yet, from Fresh View Cinema.

 

Friday 6th November

 

17:00

 

e18hteam

 

K100

 

Heads up, you will have to leave work early to beat traffic so plan accordingly. You are welcome for the week headstart to figure that out.

 

So glad people are still excited to go see it. Honoured to have it as part of closing night line up. Thank you to Charity Maruta for including the film this year.  She has been such a supporter since it premiered last year.  Wish LIFMF every success as it continues to grow in its second year and beyond.

 

& just like that I have me two tickets 4 the screening of @e18hteamhttps://twitter.com/e18hteam">@e18hteam

> whoop whoop #CelebrateZambianhttps://twitter.com/hashtag/CelebrateZambian?src=hash">#CelebrateZambian> #AmAboutThatLifehttps://twitter.com/hashtag/AmAboutThatLife?src=hash">#AmAboutThatLife> ❤ pic.twitter.com/b898LO0rzd&mdash">https://t.co/b898LO0rzd">pic.twitter.com/b898LO0rzd— That African Girl ❤ (@ThaAfricanGirl) October">https://twitter.com/ThaAfricanGirl/status/657518800611446784">October 23, 2015


For more information about all the local, African and global films showing, visit LIFMF website.

To keep up to date with e18hteam,  check the film out on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

Soul Food Friday: e18hteam - the Fruit of Passion

I have started a new tag called Passion Fruit.  It's all about how passion bears fruit. For me, e18hteam has been the hardest thing I have ever attempted to achieve in my life.  My sweat has literally watered the earth from whence the fruit that e18hteam blossomed.  My passion for the story of the Chipolopolo triumphing at AFCON 2012 in Gabon after suffering tragedy there in 1993 never wavered.  My belief in the project never waned due to the fact that I could not have partnered with a better hombre than Juan.  At one point I said to Juan that I would completely understand if he felt I had not adequately contributed to the project as, as is still the case, I have not been able to convince a single Zambian business to support any part of the project, even the fun part - the glitzy Premiere.  He believed in my passion and had no doubt I was doing my best and has stuck by me.  I am honoured to still be a part of this project and continue endeavour to earn my credit as co-producer.  If I fill up the seats with my social and traditional media plan then I will feel vindicated.

This film, despite me knowing the story and having a part in creating it, has touched the very core of my being.  I am proud to say, it moved me to tears when I watched the first rough cut months ago.  We are now locking the film and to present it to Zambians on the 17th of October, a week before Zambia's Golden Jubliee Independence celebrations on the 24th.  I am also proud that Juan has successfully gotten the film to show at SEMINCI in his home town Valladolid in Spain on the eve before Independence day.  If you are in the area, catch the film at SEMINCI.  It will be showing at LAVA, 19:00 on the 23rd of October.

I  leave you with video that has me excited and I hope it gets you revved up to see the film too:

Leelee who wrote the awesome possum Nkwazi article about e18hteam had me on radio and commented:

@leelabee "zambian film of the year" from only 5 mins of #e18hteam?! #humbled #chipolopolo @juanbriso @whoops_c pic.twitter.com/c7fWa3MM1Z
— e18hteam (@e18hteam) September 26, 2014

Juan sent the screen test in Spain which made me all warm inside:

Here is the official trailer for the film :)

To keep up-to-date with my passion fruit follow e18hteam on Twitter and like on Facebook.  You can also find other articles on my film production journey in the e18hteam tag.

Soul Food Friday: Spreading the Love on Valentine's Day :)

I don't actually believe in Valentine's Day on a personal level.  It is too close to my birthday for one - would rather be spoilt then than have someone skimp coz they are thinking they have to do something again not before long.  More importantly there are 364-5 days in the year that you should be making an effort to show your love in.  Knowing you are going to express yourself on a certain day with everyone else in such cliched ways can make it rote. The best kind of special is not only thought out, but also spontaneous so the receiver is pleasantly surprised.  OFTEN.  REGULARLY.   

However, if this is the day you want to profess your love or reaffirm your commitment to someone, please go ahead!  If you can find meaning in this day, who am I to rain on your parade?!  Exactly, so go make someone feel special.  Ignore the above paragraph and bring on the love fest.

As for me, I am going to profess universal love, wish all you readers a Happy Valentines day, and proceed to express my sentiments through photo and video xo  

And if you would like to celebrate it with me, I will be speaking on a panel of African women bloggers during the Metamorphosis of Love Google + Hangout hosted by Adventuresfrom.com at 19:00 CAT, 17:00 GMT.

© George Mutale

Though you may try my patience, my passionate patriotism will never be extinguished.  Zambia I will always love you xo

For those of you who need reminding.  You deserve to be loved because you are "full of wonder"!  Do not sell yourself short and allow yourself to be loved in a lesser fashion because you do not think you should want or demand better.  Don't settle and don't be afraid to pursue that someone who you think is out of your league, life is too short and you are too special.  We are all on this earth for a reason, and that is enough.  And we all deserve that divine requited love :) xo

Love should fill you with rapture.  If you need food for your soul to open you up to love and its possibilities, watch this beautiful documentary. The artist's love of African print and cloth opened her soul up to create such inspired art.  Imagine what watching it could do for you...

Soul Food Friday: Hair Ninjas and Afrolicious Samurais

L-R Samba Yonga, Mwanabibi Sikamo, Me, Alice Kabwe,
Masuka Mutenda, Chiteu Muyoya-Mudia, Mwaba, Chisenga
Muyoya, Irene Banda Mutalima, and Mukuka Mayuka after
TEDx Lusaka last year.
© Chosa Mweemba of Fiahlink Photography

Natural Afro hair is a big deal.  It shouldn't be but it is.  The politics, angst and/ or liberation tied to it cannot be overstressed.  When I went natural in 2007, I did it for personal reasons.  I did not do it for for grander causes: to be more authentic or to be true to my roots.  The decision to relax my hair at 11 was due to the fact that I went to boarding school in Bristol, England at 11 and they would not let me braid my hair (they did the next term after my hair fell out responding to the sheer cold and the trauma my hair suffered from chemicals straightening and thus weakening my hair).  After that I spent the next half my life miserable every time I relaxed and always got scabs from the process and my hair never was as thick or as long as it was natural as a child.  I could feel the undergrowth, lovely soft virgin hair that was then destroyed every 3 to 6 months with each retouch.  I just wanted to feel that 24/7 and I wanted to know if natural hair was really harder to take care of.  It wasn't, it is easier and it fits my personality and lifestyle a lot better.  I also wanted to be able to wear a halo fro.  Unfortunately through education I have found out that Afro hair is much more diverse than the coarse and dry that is assumed to grow out of every black person's scalp.  My hair is too soft and too floppy to fro once it is longer than 4 inches so I cannot rock the 10 inch fro that was my original goal.  But I can do so many creative things with it that I had never imagined and so now I don't care and I can pseudo fro with twist outs :).

When it comes to beauty I am the easy-breezy lazy type.  And my afro hair fits in with that.  Last week as I mentioned I spoke on a panel after the screening of the documentary Kicking it with the Kinks.  During the discussion we talked about how even if your choice is not political, because of the current environment in Zambia it can be. You can be labeled the afrocentric, political and/ or militant type.  I am not pushing any agenda. I am astute and aware enough to acknowledge that black and African hair choice can be loaded, and while I do believe you should make an informed choice about how you wear your hair that is not based on the stereotype of all afro hair is kinky, coarse, dry, unmanageable and doesn't grow, but through exploration and understanding of the limits and the possibilities of the way your hair natural grows and curls out of your head, I do not begrudge anyone who decides to alter their hair texture, colour or chooses to add hair through extensions: weaves and braids. I do however take umbrage with the assumption that allowing my hair to grow out the way God intended is radical, and is political.  It's hair for bleeps sake really! It really should not be that deep.  Yes, yes, there are colonial and global media hegemonic forces that have contributed to the self-hate that many afro-haired women have internalised and it should be addressed, but as was pointed out in the discussion, it also is not that deep to people as well.  Each individual has their own hair journey.  And these issues come out in different ways with other races from straight and blonde being the ideal for example.

However I also acknowledge that my choice has impact and that I can be an ambassador for education and exploration and can even be inspiration.  I have always had people ask me how my hair is so soft and if I am wearing a wig and recently how I have been able to grow my hair especially when I have blowdried my hair straight.  Last year, the few months I was on Zambian television had a real impact.  I still hear stories of people who loved seeing me rock natural hair.  The most recent account was from a lady and her friends who used to hold viewing parties with their daughters and she expressed how much the young girls loved that I was able to present an articulate, educated and beautiful image with natural hair and chitenge clothing.  I made the choice to dress and style my hair that fit with who I am and honestly what was easiest as I had to do everything myself, I had no glamour team travelling with me.  I did not realise at the time that my innocuous and selfish, practical choice would touch people as profoundly has it has and still does.  I have vowed to honour that in the future.  I am truly blessed: it is a humbling priviledge to bring people happiness purely from the way I live my life.  

Tomorrow: Saturday 9th February, in Lusaka is a Natural Hair Workshop hosted by Masuka Mutenda and Mwanabibi Sikamo (who are in the picture above) of ZedHair.  It is a Q & A session about all things natural.  I hope to see you there if you can make it :)

Also look out for my post on TEDx Lusaka as videos are to be posted in the coming weeks...

Soul Food Friday: "Top 10 Posts" of 2013

As usual, I am rounding up the last year's top 10 posts. Soul Food Friday is a good day to reflect on the year past.  Unfortunately in 2013 I wrote even less than I did in 2012. Shame on me:  I only managed a paltry 16 posts!  I have vowed to stop the rot, and find a way to create a system that allows me to blog at least once a week, twice if I can to make sure that I have more to choose from (I have blogged about creating better life systems already this year here).  I also have to deal with my work-life balance.  Blogging for me is therapeutic and a hobby so I can't let my professional life drain me to the point I have no juice left in the tank to bang on my computer keys to compose word rhapsodies.  I think it is important to have a way decompress with fun activities that replenish your passion tank.  

So the top 10 will really be the top 7 plus a bonus: the profile of me in Kenyan onilne mag AfroElle celebrating Afropolitans around the world.  

1. A Tale of Self Motivation Through Video and Images

2. Twit Tuesday: Zed Childhood Trip Down Memory Lane

3. Happiness

4. Twit Tuesday Debut: Justin Timberlake Jimmy Fallon and #Hastags

5. Y Zed Series: Barefeet Theatre - A ROARing Good Time Part II

6. Nelson Mandela: A Selection of Quotes

7. Twit Tuesday: Asikana Network's First Connect Forum Zambia

8. AfroElle Magazine Afropolitan Issue p 46-49

If you can't access the magazine, you can read my article below (click on them to enlarge them):

Check out the Top 10 posts for 2012, 2011 and 2010 too :)! 

Soul Food Friday: A Brief Ethiopian Art Experience

On my way to Ghana, I had an overnight stay in Addis Ababa, as I flew by Ethiopian Airlines.  I have always wanted to go to Ethiopia and was sad that I could only get a snapshot of the city in the dark, and at an ungodly hour of the morning on the way back to the airport to continue on to Accra.

However, the hotel I was put up in for the night had a great range of paintings on display.  I happened to be installed on the top floor, and as I walked down the flights of stairs to the dining room I was able to discover all this great art.  I am glad I decided not to be lazy and take the lift.  Here are the paintings (click on each picture to enlargen):

These paintings look like they have been drawn in pencil rather than painted with a brush.  I have never seen anything like it before, I had to stare at them for a while to understand what technique and medium was used to create these beautiful scenes.

I like the white washed background in these in order to make the vibrant colours pop.  This style is very common all over East Africa I have found.  

This was the only abstract painting I found.  It really jumped out at me and I am still trying to figure out what it is saying.

These are in a very classic European style.

This style was my favourite. It feels very ancient, like something you would find in an old temple, castle, fort or an ornament like a vase or something fashioned out of wood (like a wardrobe) or stone.  There is a visceral, ethereal, feminine  warmth and strength in beauty that I felt looking at these ones.

If you liked this check out other posts in the Art and Zarty Farty tags.